The Blessings of Christmas Receiving

A couple of weeks ago I gave a talk at church entitled "The Blessings of Christmas Receiving".  I wanted to share just a small part of it as we reflect on this Christmas past.

Christmas carries with it its own special challenge and blessing as we seek to be truly knowledgeable of and grateful for this eternally significant event of the birth of our Savior:

        --The blessing of Christmas is not in the decorations—although they are lovely.

        --It is not in the parties—although they are enjoyable.

        --It is not in the presents—although they are fun to give and get.

        --It is not even in the giving—although that’s getting closer.

The great blessing of Christmas can only come when we draw close to Christ.  The blessing of Christmas is in the receiving—when, with humility, we welcome the Savior into our homes and into our hearts.

It is my hope and prayer that the Lord would plant in each of our hearts the true spirit of Christmas, even the spirit of receiving the Savior into our lives, and that we would find ways to remind ourselves and our families of this great truth and blessing: that while we live in this world of sin, “where meek souls will receive Him, still the dear Christ enters in.” 

Trouble at the Inn

I wanted to share with you one of my favorite Christmas stories.  It has been around since 1968 and captures the spirit of Christmas in a sweet, childlike way.  You might find this fun to read to your children.  I hope you enjoy it.

Trouble at the Inn

by
Dina Donohue

   For years now whenever Christmas pageants are talked about in a certain little town in the Midwest, someone is sure to mention the name of Wallace Purling. Wally’s performance in one annual production of the Nativity play has slipped into the realm of legend. But the old timers who were in the audience that night never tire of recalling exactly what happened.

   

   Wally was nine that year and in the second grade, though he should have been in the fourth. Most people in town knew that he had difficulty in keeping up. He was big and clumsy, slow in movement and mind. Still, Wally was well liked by the other children in his class, all of whom were smaller than he, though the boys had trouble hiding their irritation if the uncoordinated Wally asked to play ball with them.

   Most often they’d find a way to keep him off the field, but Wally would hang around anyway—not sulking, just hoping. He was always a helpful boy, a willing and smiling one, and the natural protector, paradoxically, of the underdog. Sometimes if the older boys chased the younger ones away, it would always be Wally who’d say, “Can’t they stay? They’re no bother.”

   Wally fancied the idea of being a shepherd with a flute in the Christmas pageant that year, but the play’s director, Miss Lumbard, assigned him to a more important role. After all, she reasoned, the Innkeeper did not have too many lines, and Wally’s size would make his refusal of lodging to Joseph more forceful.

   And so it happened that the usual large, partisan audience gathered for the town’s Yuletide extravaganza of the staffs and creches, of beards, crowns, halos and a whole stageful of squeaky voices. No one on stage or off was more caught up in the magic of the night than Wallace Purling. They said later that he stood in the wings and watched the performance with such fascination that from time to time Miss Lumbard had to make sure he didn’t wander onstage before his cue.

   Then the time came when Joseph appeared, slowly, tenderly guiding Mary to the door of the inn. Joseph knocked hard on the wooden door set into the painted backdrop. Wally the Innkeeper was there, waiting. “What do you want?” Wally said, swinging the door open with a brusque gesture.

“We seek lodging.”

“Seek it elsewhere.” Wally looked straight ahead but spoke vigorously. “The inn is filled.”

“Sir, we have asked everywhere in vain. We have traveled far and are very weary.”

“There is no room in this inn for you.” Wally looked properly stern.

“Please, good innkeeper, this is my wife, Mary. She is heavy with child and needs a place to rest. Surely you must have some small corner for her. She is so tired.”

   Now, for the first time, the Innkeeper relaxed his stiff stance and looked down at Mary. With that, there was a long pause, long enough to make the audience a bit tense with embarrassment.

“No! Begone!” the prompter whispered from the wings.

“No!” Wally repeated automatically. “Begone!”

   Joseph sadly placed his arm around Mary, and Mary laid her head upon his shoulder, and the two of them started to move away. The Innkeeper did not return inside his inn, however. Wally stood there in the doorway, watching the forlorn couple. His mouth was open, his brow creased with concern, his eyes filling unmistakably with tears.

   “Don’t go, Joseph,”  Wally called out. “Bring Mary back.” And Wallace Purling’s face grew into a bright smile. “You can have my room.”

   Some people in town thought that the pageant had been ruined. Yet there were others—many others—who considered it the most Christmas of all Christmas pageants they had ever seen.

---

Arizona was a nice break

Our 12 day trip to Arizona (4-15 Nov) was a delight in so many ways.
--Visiting with Aaron, Trina and their 7 children was so much fun; we ate out, went to the Old Tucson Movie studio lot, the colossal caves and a church primary dinner.  Here are some photos of that part of our vacation.

--We also had a delightful visit with Mike and Melissa along with Jacob, Wyatt, and Tyson and Blake (Melissa's boys).  We hung out a lot, enjoying getting to know Melissa whom we came to really like and appreciate.  One of the highlights (for us, not for Mike and Melissa) was watching the Seattle Sea Hawks wax the Arizona Cardinals.  We also ate out at a nice Mexican restaurant as well as BBQ.  Here's some more photos.

We are grateful for the time each of these families made for us--we truly felt welcomed and loved.

Wouldn't it be nice?

Just some random thoughts as this hectic and at times brutal political campaign season comes to an end today.  Wouldn't it be nice if:
1.   Civility were the rule and not the exception.
2.   Campaigns were run strictly on the issues and not on personal attacks and innuendo
3.   Political parties were fined every time an ad was run which shaded the truth
4.   We could elect grown-ups from both parties who understood the value of healthy compromise and collaboration
5.   The minority party was treated as the "loyal opposition" instead of the enemy
6.   Money weren't a factor in any of our political races (yes, I understand that giving money is a form of freedom of speech; it also tends to be a corrupting element as well)
7.   The campaign season didn't start the day after the election
8.   When we elected a politician we also elected their mother to sit beside them and pull their ear when they got mean or stupid

Well, I guess that's it.  Let the 2012 campaign season begin!!

Red Letter Day

Today Melba and I went to the temple for our first quarterly high priest temple day.  Although only a handful of people from our ward attended, it was very special for us because this was the first time Melba has been to the temple in over two years. During that time I always went alone due to her various health challenges which prevented her from enjoying temple worship.  It was truly wonderful to be together as we performed the vicarious service for those unable to do so themselves.  As we sat in the celestial room we quietly pondered the things of eternity and the Lord's great plan of happiness that promises that our marriage union will continue beyond the grave if we endure in our discipleship.  That is a source of great peace to us.

A Typical Month in the Life of a [OCD] Retiree

In the five years since I retired I have found that for me happiness and contentment comes from being fully engaged in life and its many opportunities.  No fishin' hole for me, no sir.  Take a look at my "to do" list for October.

October 2010 Master Task List

Church
--Home teach my 8 families
--Compile and submit high priest home teaching report for Sept '10
--Update the ward MLS data base on home teaching
--Visit the sick and needy
--Coordinate high priest quarterly temple day, 9 Oct
--Hold weekly high priest leadership coordination meeting with my assistants and secretary
--Conduct quarterly stewardship interviews with the 10 home teachers I supervise
--Generate family names to take to the temple
--Participate as assistant temple shift coordinator in weekly coordination meeting via telephone
--Work on personal writings "Why I Believe"
--Hold daily personal devotions and scripture study

Family/Friends
--Work on pictorial tribute to my mother
--Work on "In the event of my death..." to do list for Melba should I suddenly expire
--Work on "Notes to My Grandchildren" writing
--Renew Melba's passport
--Start thinking about Christmas gifts
--Update grand-kids' photos on piano and mantle

Home/yard maintenance
--Mow and edge lawn each week until it shuts down for the winter
--Finish planting our spring bulbs (Shawn the gardener's assignment)
--Cut up pile of branches in trash area
--Finish demossing the roof (Shawn)
--Clean patio brick to remove moss and mold (Shawn)
--Prune front yard bushes (Shawn)

Emergency preparation
--Restock 72 hour kits
--Increase water storage by 10 gallons
--Move long term storage cans back upstairs

Other
--Practice guitar (acoustic, classical or electric) and banjo
--Play video games for relaxation
--Exercise daily--walking, strength training with free weights

Above all else, consider my eternal sweetheart first and foremost, making time for her and attending to her needs


From this list I compile a weekly list and from that a daily list.

"If you fail to plan, you plan to fail"

"Plan your life, then live your plan."

"If ye are prepared, ye shall not fear."

"I'm feeling fine...thanks for asking...OUCH, OUCH, OUCH!!"

Well, the deed is done.  On Wednesday past Dr. Steve Snow (a personal friend from my high council days) did an arthroscopy on my right knee to repair a tear in the meniscus.  Total time from entering the surgical clinic to leaving was three hours.  I was feeling fine the rest of the day and for half of yesterday--really thought that I was one of the few who would have relatively minor post-surgical pain.  Then, yesterday afternoon the surgical anesthesia finally wore off...and WHAM, the pain came with a vengeance.  Not the worst pain I've ever had (my back spasm years ago in Virginia is the all time winner) but pain nonetheless.

So out came the Oxycodone and things settled down although last night I had a hard time getting to sleep even with my Tylenol PM and seemed to wake up every hour or so throughout the night.  Interesting.  Wonder if the pain meds caused that.  Arla or Laura, either one of you have a thought on that?

Our trip to Utah

On Thursday 16 September we took our first out of state trip in over three years.  Up until now, Melba's health concerns had kept us pretty much anchored to home.  With her improvements, we decided to take some "test trips" to gauge how she held up. The first outing was the day trip to the coast in August.  That went well so we booked ourselves on Delta and ventured forth with courage and not a little trepidation and lots of prayer.  Bottom line: we thoroughly enjoyed our five days in Utah and although she tired easily and had to pace herself, Melba did quite well--enough so that we're now considering going to Arizona in November to see Mike and Aaron and their families.

Quick summary of our Utah activities:

--On our way from the Salt Lake City airport to our family at Orem we dropped by to visit with our friends, Jack and Gerry Lewis, in Alpine.  We always enjoy these sweet people who, although several years our senior, always feel like kindred spirits

--We bunked at Melba's brother and sister-in-law's (Larry and Antoinette Morgan) home in Orem.  They are so generous to give us the entire basement area all to ourselves complete with TV, bed, pool table, air hockey, and bathroom

--Friday evening Melba's brother, John and his wife, Sharon, drove down from Bountiful and all six of us enjoyed dinner at Olive Garden

--Saturday evening we dined (again at Olive Garden) with several friends I grew up with in Visalia viz. Linda (Tomlinson) Ramsey, Susan (Russell) and Gerry Cranford, Kay (Santos) and Eldon Tanner, John Reynolds, Mary (Welch) and Eldon Knight, and Naomia Bell.  It was a delight and loads of fun to be with these dear friends and get caught up on their lives

--Made the obligatory runs to Deseret Book and the LDS Distribution Center; strange as it might seem we actually purchased very little this time.  In years past, we needed an extra suitcase just to bring back all the books, DVDs, and CDs we purchased.

--The only downside was when we picked our car up at Master Park in Seattle it had a screw in the tire so we spent an hour and a half at Les Schwab getting it fixed.  On the upside, they didn't charge us anything.

In sum, a successful trip...now on to Arizona!

"Seek ye out of the best books" (D&C 88:118)

A couple of years ago I realized that some of the novels I was reading wouldn't pass muster as a movie i.e. I was tolerating language and other inappropriate behaviors in the books I read that I would have walked out of had it been a film.  It was then that I decided to upgrade the quality of books I was willing to read.  Consequently, I put several of my favorite authors on the "do not contact" list among them Clancy, Lincoln and Childs, Flynn, and Grafton, just to mention a few. 

After purging my bookshelves of these and other offending authors, I was at a loss as to what to read.  So, remembering the counsel of the Lord in D&C 88:118 I sought divine guidance in discovering authors that would entertain but not contaminate me. It took some effort and false starts but here are some writers that I have come to enjoy:

--Alexander McCall Smith:  wrote several series including the highly acclaimed "The #1 Ladies Detective Agency"

--Jan Karon:  well known for her delightful Mitford series which tell of the fortunes/misfortunes of Father Timothy Kavanaugh, an Episcopal priest, and his quirky parishioners

--Louis La Amour: best western writer ever

--Chris Stewart: one of the best LDS fiction writers in today's market, wrote the Great and Terrible series of six books dealing with the last days--riveting!

--Joel C. Rosenberg: penned a four book series, also on the last days from a Christian (non-LDS) point of view beginning with "The Last Jihad". 

Hopefully these and other authors will continue to publish so that I and others can continue to "seek...out of the best books"

Memorial Service

This morning we attended the memorial service for 15 year old Haley Nicole Moss, daughter of a soldier friend of ours.  Since birth Haley had suffered from congenital heart disease and over her life had had 8 procedures, 3 open heart surgeries and over 30 treatments for an accelerated heart beat.  The LDS chapel in Lakewood was filled with family, friends, students and soldiers.

My feelings and thoughts:
--So impressed with this young lady--she loved the Lord and had a firm testimony of the gospel of Jesus Christ
--One brother gave the opening prayer; her other brother spoke, sharing funny anecdotes that helped us through our tears
--Her father Dave, who had been part of the family home evening group we held each week in our home the two years we were in Korea, also spoke.  He talked of Haley's love of school, family and church, illustrating each with several touching and often humorous examples.  How he could get through that without totally breaking down, I'll never know.
--The ward Young Women sang Haley's favorite church song "I love to See the Temple"--that really cranked up the water-works as did a later song by a mother and daughter who sang "Precious Savior, Dear Redeemer"
--What impressed me the most, however, was the sweet, tender spirit that accompanied the entire service.  As sad as this was, it was in no way tragic.  Just the opposite.  Her family feels that Haley's life was actually extended through what they consider several miraculous incidents.  Plus, they have strong testimonies of the enduring nature of the family unit--that families really can be forever.  This gives them much comfort and solace during this difficult time.

I'm glad we went--I came away having been blessed, reassured and uplifted by the Spirit.

God's Building Plans

I've been thinking a lot lately about the trials, adversities and "speed bumps" that come to us on life's journey.  However, it hasn't been my difficulties I've pondered but those of my children and their families.  Like all of us some trials are self-imposed by our choices, and some by the choices of other people. And, like it or not, sometimes life is just really tough.  As the bumper sticker says, "Life is hard--and then you die."

But I also believe that at times our Heavenly Father, in His wonderful and often unexplainable way, will provide us personal tutoring so that we and our families might grow in wisdom and holiness.  The great Christian thinker and writer, C.S. Lewis, likened it to "God's building plan" for us.  Here's what he wrote (I apologize if this is a redo but it's been on my mind as I've read some of your heart wrenching blogs):

"Imagine yourself as a living house. God comes in to rebuild that house. At first, perhaps, you can understand what he is doing. He is getting the drains right and stopping the leaks in the roof and so on. You knew that those jobs needed doing and so you are not surprised.

But presently he starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts abominably and does not seem to make sense. What on earth is he up to? The explanation is that he is building quite a different house from the one you thought of—throwing out a new wing here, putting on an extra floor there, running up towers, making courtyards.

You thought you were going to be made into a decent little cottage, but he is building a palace. He intends to come and live in it himself."

Importance of Celebrating

I've been thinking about the importance in our lives that celebrations can play.  Celebrating is a way of:
--remembering as in birthdays and anniversaries
--rejoicing as in babies being born
--well wishing as in I gave my friend, Harry, a card and a balloon yesterday--the last day of his radiation treatment for prostate cancer
--starting something new as at weddings (one of Melba and my regrets is that we low keyed our marriage and didn't have any kind of celebration for our friends and family)
--thanking someone as in when your office mates take you to lunch for your retirement
--congratulating someone on an achievement such as our son or daughter's graduation 

Whether big or small I recommend we all look for opportunities to celebrate with our spouses, our children, our grandchildren and our friends.  It's a nice way to say "I care--you are important to me".

Out of sight but not out of mind

Almost a year ago to the day my sister Diane along with her husband, Sean, their son William and a cuddly black Labrador named Cindy pulled up to our house in their three cars.  The previous year had been really tough for them: Sean had lost his job as a patent attorney and after exhausting their savings were forced to sell their lovely home in a recessed market.  They had become part of the new formerly affluent homeless and we welcomed them into our home for as long as they needed to be here.
 
They really liked the wet, cool NW and for awhile it looked as though they might find gainful employment here but nothing worked out.  Finally, they decided to return to Fresno, CA to begin a new phase of their life.  Sean will begin a private law practice, Diane will find a job with benefits, and William will start college.

This past year has blessed us in so many ways.  Here are only a few:

--We got to know Sean in a new and deeper way and he us, too
--William became my own personal video master, fighting some of my more challenging boss battles for me
--Diane cooked most of the meals for her family and me (Melba has her own special regime of Crohn's friendly foods)
--Communal living worked well for us because everyone pitched in and really worked at accommodating each other and in being sensitive to everyone's space; mutual cooperation and consideration were our watch words and it worked well

I will miss having this part of our family with us.  On the bright side, we are once again an "empty nest" and that has it's benefits as well.

Birthday Reflections

I first saw the light of day 67 years ago today.  It was a Friday then, too, and I was born in the old Seaside Navy hospital in Long Beach, CA.  I have never had a problem with any birthday except when I turned 50--I was depressed for two years then snapped out of it.  Today I am at peace with my age and my place in my own life cycle.  Here are some things I like and dislike at this time of my life.

I LIKE:
--Being retired and not working for someone else
--Having a steady, secure income not dependent on the whims of the stock market
--Being married to my sweetheart and best friend, Melba
--Seeing my five kids succeed in their life goals
--The wonderful women my sons have chosen to marry
--Staying in touch with my 24 grandchildren--they keep me young
--Serving in the temple every Wednesday--it charges my spiritual batteries
--Working with our gardener to maintain and beautify our yard
--Serving as high priest group leader
--Trying to stay physically fit through exercising
--Practicing the guitar/banjo/piano
--The close relationship I have with my siblings--they are in the "inner circle" of my closest friends
--People who are incurable optimists even when carrying heavy personal burdens--they inspire me to do better with my own less heavy problems
--Doing family history and then taking my ancestors to the temple to do their work for them
--The richness of the spirit that seems to come more frequently as I pray, study the scriptures, serve others or attend the temple--it's more comforting than ever to know that God knows who Larry Barry is

I DON'T LIKE:
--Seeing my mother and my friends get older and some dying like Dick Russell and Gary Froseth and Richard Elliott
--Aches and pains that have no obvious cause but just come with the territory
--Seeing Melba suffer with the cancer she had (2xs), the Crohn's, the knee problem and the arthritis--if I could I would carry it for her
--Political fanaticism on the left or the right
--That much of our social life is comprised of medical personnel
--People who can only see life as "half empty"

Hope you all have a wonderful day today!

Graduation a time of reflection

Monday evening I attended my nephew, William's high school graduation. I sat with his proud parents and thoroughly enjoyed the festive evening.  Somewhere during the ceremony I drifted off into thoughts of my own high school years and senior graduation.  Some reflections:

--High school was fun for me--hanging out with friends, playing french horn in the orchestra, battling 4'11" Tony Betterton on the tennis court (truly Mutt and Jeff--I won the match)
--Family life chaotic at times--I gave my folks a rough go of it--sorry about that Mom and Dad
--Excited about attending College of the Sequoias, until I had my first course and realized they were serious about learning--who'da thunk?
--Losing touch with long-time friends as we went our separate ways into adulthood
--Gaining new friends--and then losing touch with them as well in the years ahead
--After two years at COS, departing for two wonderful and long years in Argentina preaching and teaching the restored gospel of Christ

As the song goes "Thanks for the memories".

The Beauty of Lists

I like lists. No, to be more precise I need lists. In fact, I'm a compulsive list maker.  It is the trademark of my long-standing OCD and I wear it like a badge of honor.

I have three standard lists I use all the time. First, I make a list the first of each month of things to accomplish during the next 30/31 days.  Second, every week I compile a seven day list. This provides focus from Monday through Sunday. And finally, every morning I make a "to do list" for that day.

Part of the joy of list making comes when I cross an item off the list.  So....the first thing I write on the daily list is:  "Make a daily list"--then, as soon as I complete the list, I scratch right through the first item--how sick is that?

Yesterday's list is fairly typical (the numbers are the priority order given each item):

2 Devotional time
1 Exercise
8 Set up home teaching visits
3 Email the bishop re: proposed home teaching changes
6 Clean desk
4 Vacuum
5 Sweep kitchen
7 Buy azaleas
9 Practice guitar and/or banjo and/or piano

I have a separate list for Melba--it's called the "A" list and she's the only person on it and it trumps all other lists.

The week of our social debut

Health problems for both of us have kept us pretty much close to home this past year.  BUT...things are changing!  For example:

--Thursday evening we went with our dear friends, Dolly and Harry (our Mexico cruise buddies) to Dairy Queen
--Last night Melba and I had dinner at Sizzler--I had a ribeye steak with baked potato and she had macaroni and cheese, also with a baked potato
--This morning we ventured out to the early (10:20am) matinee showing of Iron Man2

We thoroughly enjoy these simple things and are grateful for them.

Next?  We're thinking road trip to Utah, Arizona and California the end of September or first of October.

Watch out...WE'RE BACK!!

Trying to be more involved

This last Saturday a buddy and I attended a day long political workshop billed as an "activist mini-camp" for conservatives.  It cost $30 which included continental breakfast and lunch.  Here are some observations and thoughts:

--Glad I went; griping + involvement is better than just griping
--Surprised at the age representation: a few under 40, many in their 50s, and several in my age bracket--a good cross-section
--Topics were interesting and informative and included overview of the current political landscape, opportunities to get involved, how to mobilize the community, a mock town hall meeting, and online activism.
--Surprisingly, no big rally cries, hooahs, or personal attacks against the liberal side of the political aisle
--Also surprisingly, no American flag in the room and also no pledge of allegiance to start the day; made mention of this in my critique

All in all, a good experience even though we left early because my friend, Joe, was having some health problems.

Life in the not-so-fast lane

Life in the senior Barry household is not nearly as fast-paced or as exciting as you who:

--Vacation in Hawaii
--Uber-scrapbook
--Take work boondoggles to Tokyo

--Home school
--Go camping and fishing with your kids

--Cyber-commute
--Write on national blogs

--Fight the drug cartels in the southwest

--Work hard at the gym

Nevertheless, we have our moments.  Here are a few:

Papa's got a brand new grill friend

My first attempt at annuals

Melba's electric knee bender...also known affectionately as "The Rack"

One step back, two steps forward (hopefully)

We visited with Melba's orthopedic surgeon today and he expressed concern that she has not progressed in her physical therapy as far as he had hoped.  He then suggested--and we agreed--that they perform a manipulation on her knee next Monday.  Basically they will apply a general anesthesia and then bend the knee back enough and down enough to break through the scar tissue that has formed and which keeps her leg from getting full range of motion.  The actual procedure takes less than 5 minutes but there will be some "coming out of the fog" time afterward.

We welcome all prayers that this procedure will prove beneficial to Melba/Mom.

An Older Parent's Joy

There are many things that bring joy to us older parents:
--Seeing our children succeed in their chosen profession
--Celebrating when our children overcome life's challenges
--Watching our children grow and mature into responsible adults

Last night was one such joyful moment.  Our grandson, Nolan, was baptized and confirmed by his father, Damon, our son.  There was so much about the service that brought us great joy:
--Our son able to perform this eternal ordinance for his son
--Our daughter-in-law, Amy, giving a wonderful talk on the Holy Ghost that spoke to all ages and preparing take-away-refreshments that went along with the message in a fun and tasty way
--The large number of people who came to support Nolan--probably around 75, more than half children
--Damon, Amy and all five of their children singing "Families Can Be Together Forever"...and radiating the faith and love that will ensure it will be true for them
--Being honored to give the baptism talk at Nolan's request
--Watching our granddaughters, Elli and Emma, lead the music and give the opening prayer, respectively
--Melba being able to attend and seeing the joy in her eyes and hearing her love for family choke her up as she gave the closing prayer
--Telling Damon and Amy's non-LDS friend, Lacy, how much I appreciated the support he and his wife give to our kids--and having him respond with "Oh, they have enriched my life in so many, many ways"
--Feeling the truth of the closing song "I Feel My Savior's Love"

Damon and Amy, you're doing a great job!

In praise of the extended family

One of the things we've lost in the last hundred years or so is extended families living close to the natal home.  In days gone by mom and pop parceled their 500 acres to their adult children who then built their homestead next to the folks.  This strengthened familial connections, provided a ready support system, and fostered multi-generational relationships.  Cousins grew up as best friends.  Aunts and Uncles were an important adult presence in the lives of their young nieces and nephews.  Grandchildren and great-grandchildren had ready access to their grandparents.  Today's mobile society disallows such living arrangements and we are the less for it.

All of this to say:  I absolutely enjoyed the brief time we spent with my nieces, Sylvia and Rebecca, who flew out from Georgia and Mississippi, respectively, to attend a "Time Out for Women" conference with my daughter-in-law, Amy.  Thank you so much for taking the time yesterday to visit with us in our home.  We love you for it.

I think it's time to organize a family reunion, don't you?

The best laid plans....

Our lady gardener/handy-woman did a bang up job of relocating 20+ stepping stones from the far back gate to in front of our shed.  Only when she had completed the job last night did I realize:  she had covered up a sprinkler head.  Not her fault--she didn't know it was there; I just forgot about it.  Now what to do--undo all her work or leave it as is?  Type A personalities like me (ISFJ on the Myers-Briggs) can't tolerate when something is out of kilter or just not right.  [sigh]

Learning new things

With Melba home yet fairly limited in what she can do I am learning some new things:

--How to dress a 10" incision
--How to put socks and other apparel on her
--How to serve with joy
--How to use our walkie-talkies so she can call me from the other room without yelling
--How to get back to sleep at 3:30am after helping her into the bathroom and back to bed
--How to install shower security bars (easy 'cause they have suction cups)
--How this kind of service brings a new and deeper emotional bond and intimacy into the relationship
--How important it is to plan for the health problems that will arise in most everyone's life
--How important a sense of humor is when tackling life's vicissitudes and trials

Learning is good...even though it sometimes asks more of us than we expected.

Melba update

Today is the third day since Melba's knee replacement and we both didn't realize how painful the recovery would be.  Talked with the ortho doc this morning and here's what he said:
--Post-operation fever of 101 is normal and usually abates after 2 or 3 days; labs show no evidence of infection
--Extreme pain is often the case with some patients while others have significantly less.  Her pain level is currently at 8 which is down from a high of 10 yesterday.
--She is on 3 or 4 pain medications which, along with very little sleep last night, is causing sleepiness, lethargy, and difficulty focusing for very long.
--In order to be discharged her pain level has to be at a level that is tolerable for her.
--Physical therapy is extremely painful for her but necessary so she is also enduring that.  Upon discharge she will go to a physical therapist here in Tumwater 3 xs/week for 3 months.

The hardest thing for her is the pain--she has said more than once she wish she hadn't had the surgery.  The most difficult part for me is to see her pain and not be able to help--so we get teary-eyed together but for different reasons.

The wonder of modern medicine

As most of you already know, Melba came through her surgery in fine shape, notwithstanding the severe pain she is in--that was explained to us in advance and we were prepared. She called me last night to tell me not to bother to tape American Idol because she was watching it herself (which is a good thing because I had forgotten it was even on).

I am in awe of the wonderful medical advances in the past decades that have made this type of operation as common and successful as taking out tonsils or the appendix.  Numerous friends have told us of their having the same procedure and of how glad they are that they did so.  The surgery itself took just 45 minutes--the bulk of the time was preparation/anesthesia before and recovery time after.  I am grateful to the Lord for living in a time when these wonderful medical miracles are so available and routine.

Next up for Melba: either spinal fusion or small bowel resection.  By year's end we hope to have her patched up ready to take a road trip.

All systems "go"

So far everything is lining up nicely for Melba's total knee replacement on Tuesday--pre-surgery appointments completed with orthopedic and anesthesiology, rehab facility selected (if needed), lab work finished, Crohn's under control. On Monday we'll get a report time and I'll give her a priesthood blessing--all of your prayers also very welcome.  If you'd like to see a short video on knee replacement go to http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6gHhhwQDZQM

He took my licking for me

I have always loved this story. Pres. Hinckley used it in a talk in 2000 and captures part of the essence of Easter that children can relate to...and the rest of us, too.  Melba and I wish you all a very spiritual Easter and remind us all that "He is risen!"

Pres. Hinckley:

I have a simple story I would like to recount. It is something of a parable. I do not have the name of the author. Perhaps it will have special interest for our children. I hope it will be a reminder for all.

“Years ago there was a little one-room schoolhouse in the mountains of Virginia where the boys were so rough that no teacher had been able to handle them.

“A young, inexperienced teacher applied, and the old director scanned him and asked: ‘Young fellow, do you know that you are asking for an awful beating? Every teacher that we have had here for years has had to take one.’

“ ‘I will risk it,’ he replied.

“The first day of school came, and the teacher appeared for duty. One big fellow named Tom whispered: ‘I won’t need any help with this one. I can lick him myself.’

“The teacher said, ‘Good morning, boys, we have come to conduct school.’ They yelled and made fun at the top of their voices. ‘Now, I want a good school, but I confess that I do not know how unless you help me. Suppose we have a few rules. You tell me, and I will write them on the blackboard.’

“One fellow yelled, ‘No stealing!’ Another yelled, ‘On time.’ Finally, ten rules appeared on the blackboard.

“ ‘Now,’ said the teacher, ‘a law is not good unless there is a penalty attached. What shall we do with one who breaks the rules?’

“ ‘Beat him across the back ten times without his coat on,’ came the response from the class.

“ ‘That is pretty severe, boys. Are you sure that you are ready to stand by it?’ Another yelled, ‘I second the motion,’ and the teacher said, ‘All right, we will live by them! Class, come to order!’

“In a day or so, ‘Big Tom’ found that his lunch had been stolen. The thief was located—a little hungry fellow, about ten years old. ‘We have found the thief and he must be punished according to your rule—ten stripes across the back. Jim, come up here!’ the teacher said.

“The little fellow, trembling, came up slowly with a big coat fastened up to his neck and pleaded, ‘Teacher, you can lick me as hard as you like, but please, don’t take my coat off!’

“ ‘Take your coat off,’ the teacher said. ‘You helped make the rules!’

“ ‘Oh, teacher, don’t make me!’ He began to unbutton, and what did the teacher see? The boy had no shirt on, and revealed a bony little crippled body.

“ ‘How can I whip this child?’ he thought. ‘But I must, I must do something if I am to keep this school.’ Everything was quiet as death.

“ ‘How come you aren’t wearing a shirt, Jim?’

“He replied, ‘My father died and my mother is very poor. I have only one shirt and she is washing it today, and I wore my brother’s big coat to keep me warm.’

“The teacher, with rod in hand, hesitated. Just then ‘Big Tom’ jumped to his feet and said, ‘Teacher, if you don’t object, I will take Jim’s licking for him.’

“ ‘Very well, there is a certain law that one can become a substitute for another. Are you all agreed?’

“Off came Tom’s coat, and after five strokes the rod broke! The teacher bowed his head in his hands and thought, ‘How can I finish this awful task?’ Then he heard the class sobbing, and what did he see? Little Jim had reached up and caught Tom with both arms around his neck. ‘Tom, I’m sorry that I stole your lunch, but I was awful hungry. Tom, I will love you till I die for taking my licking for me! Yes, I will love you forever!’ ”

To lift a phrase from this simple story, Jesus, my Redeemer, has taken “my licking for me” and yours for you.

Declared the prophet Isaiah:

“Surely he hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows: …

“… He was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed” (Isa. 53:4–5).

Family time

Our second oldest granddaughter, Alex, arrived last night from West Virginia as did her mother, Megan, who lives in Kent, WA. We're looking forward to a week's visit with them, bonding, playing, talking, reconnecting.

Pet Peeves

Some things that bug, irritate or bother me:

• Cursors that skip around
• People who use “Mormon standard time” as an excuse for being late
• Political fanatics on the right and the left who are strict ideologues and leave no room in their heads for new ideas
• Feigned kindness and concern
• When I unintentionally drop things
• Physicians who say to me “In the aging process…”
• Memory lapses
• Newspapers thrown into the bushes
• Contentious talk radio hosts who seem to delight in the political fray
• Families who chatter and laugh during church services
• Church services that don’t start on time
• People who seem to revel in the negative, living their lives “half empty”
• People who publish their pet peeves…oops

Fed up with the politicians

We've got a new federal health plan which will a) ensure millions more people will have access to health care--which is a good thing; and b) add to the already burgeoning national governmental structure and collect more taxes in order to support it--which is a bad thing.

Here's my beef: neither side of the aisle addressed the legitimate concerns of the other. I never heard one Democrat express a concern over the increase in government size and reach. I never heard one Republican make a reasonable recommendation on how to provide better health care for the uninsured (Medicaid and ER are not solutions). I don't like ideologues--they aren't a good mix for political compromise. But there was no compromising from either side--not from the Democrats because they have the power and the votes; and not from the Republicans because they spent most their time saying "No" instead of proposing alternatives. I hold the Democrats more responsible for this lack because the party in power has to take the lead in compromising, regardless of which side of the political spectrum they are on.

And that's my two cents worth.

Busy Day

Five of us from the high priest group spent 2 hours at Deseret Industries this morning hanging clothes, cleaning shoes and sorting books. It is remarkable to me how much the Church contributes to the welfare of those in need. This Christianity in action.

Last Wednesday, at the temple, I was called to be assistant shift coordinator, helping the shift coordinator make the weekly assignments. Since I've done this before it was all familiar territory. This afternoon was on the phone for two hours coordinating the schedule with the shift coordinator.

Tonight we will again watch the movie "Twilight" so that we can refresh our memory of that film prior to watching the sequel.

Sir Isaac Newton Story

Lacking absolutely anything in my mundane life about which to blog I thought I'd share one of my favorite stories relating to the existence of God. Whether true or apocryphal, I don't know--but the lesson is true—about the renowned English scientist Sir Isaac Newton.

Sir Isaac Newton's work represents some of the greatest contributions to science ever made by an individual. Most notably, Newton derived the Law of Universal Gravitation, invented the branch of mathematics called Calculus, and performed experiments investigating the nature of light and color. He also was a scholar of the Bible and devoted much time to its study.

Sir Isaac had an accomplished artisan fashion for him a small scale model of our solar system which was to be put in a room in Newton's home when completed. The assignment was finished and installed on a large table. The workman had done a very commendable job, simulating not only the various sizes of the planets and their relative proximities, but also so constructing the model that everything rotated and orbited when a crank was turned. It was an interesting, even fascinating work, as you can image, particularly to anyone schooled in the sciences.

An atheist scientist friend of Newton's came by for a visit. Seeing the model, he was naturally intrigued, and proceeded to examine it with undisguised admiration for the high quality of the workmanship.

"Oh my! What an exquisite thing this is!" Newton's friend exclaimed. "Who made it?"

Paying little attention to him, Sir Isaac answered, "Nobody."

Stopping his inspection, the visitor turned and said “Oh? Evidently you did not understand my question. I asked who made this?"

Newton, enjoying himself immensely no doubt, replied in a still more serious tone, "Nobody. What you see just happened to assume the form it now has."

"You must think I am a fool!" the visitor retorted heatedly, "Of course somebody made it, and he is a genius, and I would like to know who he is."

Newton then spoke to his friend in a polite yet firm way: "This thing is but a puny imitation of a much grander system whose laws you know, and I am not able to convince you that this mere toy is without a designer and maker; yet you profess to believe that the great original from which the design is taken has come into being without either designer or maker! Now tell me by what sort of reasoning do you reach such an incongruous conclusion?” (Adapted from Sir Isaac Newton Solar System Story (from the book: The Truth: God or evolution? by Marshall and Sandra Hall, Baker Book House, Grand Rapids, MI)

Putting first things first

Two recent events--one significant and one inconsequential--caused me to think about priorities.

First, the inconsequential. Last night we watched the 2004 TV mini-series "Category 6" about massive storms combining to wipe most of Chicago off the map. Not the best movie I've seen--far from it. But it made me ponder things:

--Are Melba and I fully prepared should a natural or man-made disaster hit the NW?
--How's our food storage? Our 72 hour kit? Backup power source?
--With relief I concluded that we're in OK shape--not perfect but alright:
*We have about 3-4 months emergency food storage
*We have 72 hour kits packed and ready to go, although it's time to replenish items that are nearing their expiration date
*Our generator works fine--we ran it earlier this year during the one day power outage caused by a wind storm. We keep 6 gallons of gasoline on hand but probably should keep triple that in case service station pumps don't work.

Second, the significant. I played the piano yesterday at a memorial service for a man I had only met once and did the same for his wife who passed away two years ago. At times like this I start thinking about spiritual preparedness and asking myself if I am ready for whatever challenges might come my way down the road. Here are my conclusions:

--I am stronger spiritually today than I was five years ago. I study and ponder the scriptures; I pray morning and night and often in-between. I ask the Lord each day to show me who He would like me to help. I try hard to be true to the covenants I have made with the Lord and with Melba and to repent quickly. Can I do better? You bet and will work on that.

--I am more resilient than I used to be. There is something about life's "speed bumps" that builds mental and emotional strength. When Melba had her first bout of cancer in 1993 I was a basket case--a tower of Jello. Subsequent experiences with cancer--another for her and one for me--plus an accumulation of various aches and pains we experience as part of the aging process have somehow tempered and strengthened me. It's odd but true that as my physical condition slowly wanes due to the effects of just living longer, my inner spirit--my real self--the eternal part of me is getting stronger, more vibrant, and, hopefully, more of what the Lord wants me to me.

The point I want to make is that it is important to not just think about today or tomorrow but to look down life's road well beyond the "100 meter mark" and ask ourselves:

--Who do I want be in 10, 20, or 30 years from now?
--Every day I plant "seeds" for my tomorrows--will I like the eventual harvest?
--Am I prepared both temporally and spiritually for whatever the future might bring?

Ultimately, I think the answer lies in putting "first things first" and not to be involved in the "thick of thin things".

An old friend and mentor is challenged

I learned last night that the wife of one of my chaplain mentors has Alzheimer disease--the long goodbye. Bernie and Dorothy Lieving took Melba and me, in the very beginnings of our chaplaincy journey, under their wings--loved us, taught us, protected us. Bernie was a Methodist chaplain who served as the 1st Cavalry Division chaplain when we first entered the Army at Ft. Hood, TX in 1982. 18 years later I would serve in that same assignment which was particularly sweet because Bernie had been there in earlier times.

Here is the original note to all retired chaplains from Bernie:

This is being sent with Dorothy's permission and blessing. We have been very open with the church about this and now she is ready for all our friends from the wonderful days past to be aware of our situation.

Following the usual exhaustive battery of physical and mental examinations, Dorothy was diagnosed on November 13, 2009 with Alzheimer's Disease. Dorothy, the three children, and I had known for some months that something was not quite right. In July 2009 Dorothy drove for the last time. She said that as she was driving that day she prayed and promised God is she were to get home safely, parked in the driveway, and out of the car she would never drive again. Shortly thereafter we started the testing. Fortunately, a member of Hyde Park United Methodist where I am still on staff is a top neurologist in the field and she is our physician.In the eight areas tested, Dorothy was diagnosed as "mildly" impaired in 3 and in 5 "mild to moderate".

Dorothy has been slowly placed on the 3-med "cocktail", Lexapro, Namenda, and Aricept, and two weeks ago the doctor said it appears it is working because Dorothy "aced" all her tests that day.
The two most significant areas of impairment are short term memory and visual-spatial orientation (hence the driving problem).

Since Dorothy now doesn't care much for the issues related to air travel the kids and grandkids have started visiting us instead of our making our twice annual trips to PA and NM.

Dorothy's awareness of her illness is both curse and blessing. It's curse because she knows her situation and hates it. It is blessing because we can talk about it and deal with it in mostly productive ways (I'm learning).Our daughter, Debra, has her Ph.D. in gerontology and lives in Tampa. She is a great help to us.

Appreciate your prayers as we walk this life-journery together.

If you'd like to e-mail Dorothy she daily checks in:
Dorothy

You can reach me at:

Bernie

With thank for your friendship over the years.

Bernie


Here is my email to Bernie followed by his kind and courageous reply back:

Bernie,
I am so very sorry for this challenge that has come into Dorothy’s and your lives—I weep for you. Yet, at the same time I have full faith that the Lord will walk with you both and your family in a very special way and you will feel His nearness.
You and Dorothy hold a special place in Melba and my heart because of the friendship and mentoring you gave to us as we were in the beginnings of our chaplaincy journey. We have thanked God so many times for good Christian disciples like you two who have blessed the lives of so many of God’s children.
If there is anything that we can do for you, please don’t hesitate to ask. Of course, it goes without saying that you and Dorothy just moved to the top of our prayer list.

Hugs and love,

Larry


Lawrence M. Barry
CH (COL), US Army (Ret)
Tumwater, WA
360-705-0573 (home)
360-870-4963 (cell)


Larry,
God bless you and thanks for the note. Dorothy and I talk about the two of you probably more than any other young chaplain couple we served with during those all too brief days at Hood. By the way, the last Sunday in December we attended Fred Shelke's retirement from the Lutheran Church he served about an hour from here.
Yes, we experience God's presence every day and celebrate God's love for us.
Grace and peace,
Bernie

God bless Bernie and Dorothy Lieving.

A Gathering of Saints

Last night we held our high priest group dessert social and fireside. Thirty five people attended, mostly husbands and wives but several widows and widowers came, too. A banquet of desserts was laid out in the large kitchen of Don and Sue Ann Echols' home. Don is a periodontist who frequently will open their spacious 8,000 sq. ft home for Church functions.

The desserts were scrumptious, fat-filled, sugar-loaded, and overflowing with calories. When the person who offered the prayer asked the Lord to bless the food to the nourishment of our bodies, I almost broke out in laughter. Later I mentioned this to one of the sisters there and she said that she decided long ago to simply pray that we would enjoy the evening and refreshments--not a word about nutrition.

The highlight of the evening was the short inspirational message offered by our stake president, Paul Price, who is, of course, also the high priest quorum president. He shared his thoughts on acknowledging and recognizing the hand of the Lord in our lives. A wonderful message which went along nicely with the "Faith Promoting Experiences" booklet we put together over the past 6-8 months and handed out last night.

It was a delightful evening which hopefully blessed the lives of all who attended.

The "not so handy" man

It's no secret that when it comes to fixing things around the house I'm a pretty good piano player. Whether its squeaky doors, a broken window, or jammed garbage disposal my first reaction is "CALL THE REPAIRMAN SO I CAN WRITE HIM A REALLY BIG CHECK FOR 15 MINUTES WORK!!" That would have happened today with our leaky outside faucet if it hadn't been for some really helpful people:

--Sean the brother-in-law who has become my invaluable first line of defense on things mechanical. He gave it a try, then wisely said, "can't figure this one out--it's a strange faucet--do you know a handyman you can call?"

--Don the church friend and widower who came at a run when I called him. He brought tools and talent and 75 years of do-it-yourself experience and performed a skilled surgical removal of the offending faucet.

--Mark the utility guy who came within 15 minutes of my call to turn off the water to the house and returned again within 30 minutes to turn it back on.

So I have lots of respect and gratitude to these men who graciously shared their time and talents with me.

I admire these fellows and want to be like them; so if you need something fixed in your house, just call me--I play a mean Chopin!

The day so far...

The challenge of being retired is to use time wisely--determining what is good, better and best. Today so far has been a blend of each:

--Had my devotional time (better)
--Cleaned my desk (good)
--Housekeeper came and gave our home a good cleaning (good)
--Played video game (good minus)
--Called my brother (best)
--Called my daughter (also best)
--Blogged (good)
--Emptied several file folders full of old papers and stuff (good)
--Went to the store for Melba (best)


More to follow...

Just when you think you did a great job....

This evening at the stake general priesthood meeting I fulfilled an assignment to join the stake presidency in a panel discussion about home teaching and personal priesthood interviews. We sat in chairs in risers right in front of the first pews. I was first, taking five minutes to discuss stewardship interviews. I finished, pleased with my presentation. The first counselor in the stake presidency was speaking and fielding questions from the large gathering of priesthood brethren. As he did so,one brother in the front row reached up to me and handed me a note. I thought it might be some nice compliment on my presentation. I opened the note and read the following:

"I noticed that your fly is open".

So much for decorum; I made the requisite adjustment and slunk down in my chair, chagrined...sigh...

Funny thing happened on my way to old age....

A friend of mine, Ray Richey, sent me the following joke (sadly, I can SO relate):

A group of 40 year old golfing buddies discuss where they should meet for dinner. Finally it is agreed upon that they should meet at Mario's restaurant because the waitresses there are really good looking.
 10 years later, at 50 years of age, the group meets again and once again they discuss where they should meet. Finally it is agreed upon that they should meet at Mario's because the food there is very good and the wine selection is good also.
 10 years later at 60 years of age, the group meets again and once again they discuss where they should meet. Finally it is agreed upon that they should meet at Mario's because they can eat there in peace and quiet and the restaurant is smoke free.
 10 years later, at 70 years of age, the group meets again and once again they discuss where they should meet. Finally it is agreed upon that they should meet at Mario's because the restaurant is wheel chair accessible and they even have an elevator.
 10 years later, at 80 years of age, the group meets again and once again they discuss where they should meet. Finally it is agreed upon that they should meet at Mario's because they have never been there before.

A Wednesday without the temple

The Seattle temple is closed for two weeks of deep cleaning and minor repairs. Somehow the day seems a little empty. The two highlights of my week are attending worship service with Melba and serving as a temple ordinance worker on Wednesdays from 11:00am to 5:00pm. I always return home with my spirituality strengthened and my love of the temple ordinances deepened. A side benefit is the camaraderie I feel with my fellow ordinance workers. We have a brotherhood forged from serving together in the House of the Lord. I'll be glad when March 9 arrives so I can return to the temple.

Faith Promoting Experiences

For the past several months our high priest group has been submitting their accounts of experiences in their lives that have strengthened their faith and testimony.  We have 23 stories and will go to press this week.  I thought I would share with you the account I have included in the book.

The Miracle of Home Teaching

By Lawrence Barry

            I have always appreciated the value of home teaching even though my own efforts have not always measured up.  Sometimes I would get energized and visit my families early in the month, taking them a spiritual thought and making sure they were doing alright.

            Other times I would find myself at the end of the month, having visited few if any of my assigned families.  I would scurry around trying to set up last minute appointments so I could meet the “letter of the law”.  I’m sure those visits were all “flame but no heat.”

            Over the years I would hear of brethren speaking of the special spiritual blessings that came to them and their families because of their faithful efforts at home teaching.  These accounts strengthened me although I had to admit that I had never had a similar experience.

            All that changed when my wife, Melba, and I were assigned as a home teaching couple to visit a single sister I’ll call Melissa Newcomb (not her real name).  Sister Newcomb was a young single woman just recently released from active duty in the Army.  She was about 21 years old and was working at Fort Monroe, VA where I was stationed at the time.

            In our first contact with Melissa she was reluctant to see us.  We continued to gently press for some contact with her and finally she agreed to have lunch with us at a nearby restaurant.  We bought her lunch and we had an enjoyable although somewhat awkward time getting to know her.

            Each month thereafter we would meet with Melissa at the restaurant, always trying to get to know her a little more.  We asked if we could visit with her in her apartment but she didn’t want to do that.  So for over a year we met monthly for a “meet and greet”.  Occasionally we would discuss gospel topics and encourage her to come to church with us.  She never did.

            Finally we were transferred and we lost contact with Melissa and frankly she slipped from our minds as we became involved in our new ward.  Occasionally we would think of her and offer a prayer on her behalf but for all practical purposes she was “off our radar”.

            All that changed a couple of years later when we received a letter postmarked Germany.  It read something like this: 

“Dear Brother and Sister Barry, I have often thought of you over these past two years.  After you were transferred, my life began to change.  I got my act together, started attending church and working things out with my bishop.  I want to thank you for being such steady and faithful home teachers.  I’m sure at times I must have been a challenge for you.  Thank you for never giving up on me.  I am currently serving an 18 month mission in Germany and love sharing the gospel with these wonderful people.  Thank you again for being there for me even when I didn’t know I needed you.”

                                               

Sincerely,

Sister Melissa Newcomb

                                    Frankfurt Germany Mission

            Each time I find myself getting too routine or casual in my home teaching I remind myself of Sister Melissa Newcomb and how the Lord touched her and brought her back to Him through the home teaching program.  It gives me new and wonderful meaning to the Lord’s teaching to the Nephites after his resurrection when he taught them about ministering to those members who wander away from the Church:

“Nevertheless, ye shall not cast him out of your synagogues, or your places of worship, for unto such shall ye continue to minister; for ye know not but what they will return and repent, and come unto me with full purpose of heart, and I shall heal them; and ye shall be the means of bringing salvation unto them.”  (3 Nephi 18:32)

What I'd like to do today...

Mulling over my options for today...mostly mundane tasks...my mind began to wander, my imagination taking control--here's some things I'd like to do today if I could:
--Charter a plane and fly to Tucson, Phoenix, Atlanta, Boston, Fresno--to visit my distant kids, grandkids, siblings and mother
--Learn to ride a horse and play polo
--Organize a southern gospel singing group with me on bass
--Walk along an abandoned train track
--Build a raft, stock it with supplies and float down the Mississippi river
--Walk barefoot on the beach at Cayucos
--Go to an Emmylou Harris concert
--Take a road trip and visit every national park in the USA
--Lay on my back on a green hill with the warm sun above and look at the white clouds passing by and see what figures and shapes they make
--Go to the temple with my eternal sweetheart
--Help someone in need
--Grow a full beard and mustache
--Write a novel

But instead, I think I'll go to Ft. Lewis to pick up Melba and my medications....

What's going on?

I'm wondering if the planets are in/out of alignment--strange happenings across the land--for example:

--Sun in the NW forecast for next five days
--Trina misses the greenery of Washington
--Mike starts a blog
--Rebecca and Sylvia will fly to Seattle end of April, then drive with Amy 280 miles to Spokane for "Time out for women"
--I tear out two bushes only to replant three
--My oldest just turned 41 and I'm 4 months from 67
--I have no lesson or workshop or talk to prepare this week
--No medical appointments this week

What's next....?

Spring pruning

Spring is in the air here in the lush NW and our arborist and his two man crew are working their magic on our tall firs, decorative trees and various shrubs.  We had them pull out some useless bushes, grind down some stumps and shape the trees--snip, snip, snip--our yard is getting a serious haircut--high and tight!

Homonyms

Was reading a clever article on homonyms plus saw on FB that Barry and Rebecca had joined a homonym group. Thought you might enjoy this poem about homonyms and spell checker.

An Ode to the Spelling Chequer

Prays the Lord for the spelling chequer
That came with our pea sea!
Mecca mistake and it puts you rite
Its so easy to ewes, you sea.

I never used to no, was it e before eye?
(Four sometimes its eye before e.)
But now I've discovered the quay to success
It's as simple as won, too, free!

Sew watt if you lose a letter or two,
The whirled won't come two an end!
Can't you sea? It's as plane as the knows on yore face
S. Chequer's my very best friend

I've always had trubble with letters that double
"Is it one or to S's?" I'd wine
But now, as I've tolled you this chequer is grate
And its hi thyme you got won, like mine.

—Janet E. Byford

Odds and Ends

Here's what's new this week:
--Had a nice talk with son Mike--congrats on the new home--pictures were great! Really glad you and the kids are moving out of gangland.

--Missed going to to the temple today but needed time to put finishing touches on on my presentation tonight at relief society: Spiritual Foundations of a Joyous Marriage; just wrapped it up and am going to relax until it's time to go

--Arborist came yesterday, gave us an estimate on pruning our 11 evergreens and our numerous decorative trees; also going to grind down three stumps and pull out two large bushes; Melba wants to plant two or three burning bushes or whatever they're called--bright red leaves in the fall--very popular around here (see image)

--Lawn mower guy dropped by to pick up my mower for spring tune-up; the lawn is already starting to grow and the crocuses and tulips have already stuck their little heads up out of the ground and are trying to decide whether to bud or not

A small speed bump in Melba's health care

Melba and I met with a doctor today as part of her pre-surgery visits. Everything was good except her hemoglobin was too low so the doc can't recommend surgery yet. So she'll have to meet with her GI doc, find out what the problem is, fix it, and hope we can get her labs up in time for her scheduled surgery on 2 Mar. Semper Gumby--always flexible!

Reflections on marriage_Part 2_the lighter side

Thought I'd share a couple of marriage jokes I have used over the years to humorously highlight husband and wife gender differences:

1. One night a wife found her husband standing over their baby’s crib. Silently she watched him. As he stood looking down at the sleeping infant, she saw on his face a mixture of emotions: disbelief, doubt, delight, amazement, enchantment, skepticism. Touched by this unusual display and the deep emotions it aroused, with eyes glistening she slipped her arm around her husband and softly said, “A penny for your thoughts.” “It’s amazing!” he replied. “I just can’t see how anyone…can make a crib like that for only $146.00!!”

2. A policeman spots a woman driving and knitting at the same time. Driving up beside her, he shouts out the window at her: “Pull over.” “No”, she shouts back, “a sweater!”

There you have it--viva la difference!

Reflections on marriage

Next Wednesday I'm giving a presentation to our ward Relief Society on the "spiritual foundations of a joyful marriage". I'm currently in the "review of literature" phase and thought I'd share some snippets that struck me as interesting or insightful.

--"I am satisfied that a happy marriage is not so much a matter of romance as it is an anxious concern for the comfort and well-being of one's companion." (Gordon B. Hinckley)
--"Many couples permit their marriages to become stale and their love to grow cold like old bread or worn-out jokes or cold gravy. Certainly the foods most vital for love are consideration, kindness, thoughtfulness, concern, expressions of affection, embraces of appreciation, admiration, pride, companionship, confidence, faith, partnership, equality, and interdependence." (Spencer W. Kimball)
--A lack of time in a marriage is a greater problem than a lack of money
--"Our love for [our] spouse...is reflected most powerfully in our thoughts, our words, and our deeds." (David A. Bednar)
--"When you are forgiving you can drop the burden of resentment and anger. It is a better way to experience each day." (Larry Jensen)
--Problems occur in marriage when we violate gospel principles. Redemptive healing and peace comes through obedience to gospel principles.
--"God designed marriage to make us both happy and holy". (Carol Heffernan)

Facing the reality of mortality

Yesterday I wrote about my friend, Gary, who recently passed away at age 66--my age. Last night I learned that a close friend of my mother, Bessie Lambert, age 96 +/-, is in a Bellingham hospital days away from completing her life's journey. These and other recent events have given me pause to consider things of a weightier nature:
--I want to be more diligent in my daily physical exercising so I can stick around as long as I can
--I want to be slower to anger, quicker to love
--I want to spread peace not contention
--I want to learn more about the great gift of repentance and do it more and better
--I want to get better at quick forgiveness when I get my feelings hurt
--I want to let others know that I love and appreciate them--especially Melba, my children, grandchildren, mother, siblings and friends
--I want to take offense less and give others the benefit of the doubt more
--I want to strive daily to live up to the children's song "I'm trying to be like Jesus"
--I want to remind myself every day what the purpose of life is: "...there [is] a space granted unto man in which he might repent; therefore this life became a probationary state; a time to prepare to meet God..." (Alma 12:24)

Remembering Gary

I received sad news yesterday. My boyhood chum, Gary Froseth, passed away two weeks ago. His wife, Paulette, sent me a letter telling me that while they were in Nicaragua Gary suffered a massive heart attack and then a cerebral hemorrhage. He died instantly. The memorial service was last Sunday. Gary was an important part of my growing up, especially during our pre-teen years. I remember:
--laughing so hard we rolled on the ground, out of control, gasping for breath
--hanging out after school
--Gary coming with me to Mutual, needing the fellowship
--my hoping he'd be interested in joining the Church but he never was
--Gary attending my first marriage with his first wife neither of us knowing that both marriages would eventually unravel
--hooking up many years later when Melba and I lived in Virginia the first time, stopping in to see him and Paulette at their home in Harrisburg, PA and picking up where we had left off, hardly missing a beat
--over the years occasionally emailing each other with updates and subtle reminders that we were still friends and cared about each other

Thank you, Gary, for being my friend when I needed you most. My wish for you now is that you'll run into some great missionaries in the spirit world and accept the gospel. We'll have so much more to talk and laugh about when I get there.

For Melba

A little over a year ago I wrote the lyrics and music of a song dedicated to my eternal sweetheart. I thought I would share the lyrics with you.

YOU WERE THERE

For Melba

1) Years ago in memories past,

Time stood still, our youth would last forever.

You were there.

Holding hands in tender romance,

‘cross the room a stolen glance of love.

You were there.

Dreams were big, hope was bright;

You and I were right ‘cause you were there,

You were there.

2) Life was hard, life was good;

Trusting God our dreams would last forever;

He was there.

Heaven blessed us from on high,

Showed us that we could rely on His love;

He was there.

Through the fire, through the flame,

Hearts were touched through faith upon His name;

He was there.

3) Now we’re old, our hair is gray;

My love for you is here to stay forever.

I’ll be there.

Up the hill, down rocky road,

I’ll lift you up, I’ll take your load, I love you.

I’ll be there.

Friends we were and friends forever,

In your need I’ll come and I’ll be there.

Yes, I’ll be there. I will be there.

Words and music by Lawrence M. Barry, October 2008