An old friend and mentor is challenged

I learned last night that the wife of one of my chaplain mentors has Alzheimer disease--the long goodbye. Bernie and Dorothy Lieving took Melba and me, in the very beginnings of our chaplaincy journey, under their wings--loved us, taught us, protected us. Bernie was a Methodist chaplain who served as the 1st Cavalry Division chaplain when we first entered the Army at Ft. Hood, TX in 1982. 18 years later I would serve in that same assignment which was particularly sweet because Bernie had been there in earlier times.

Here is the original note to all retired chaplains from Bernie:

This is being sent with Dorothy's permission and blessing. We have been very open with the church about this and now she is ready for all our friends from the wonderful days past to be aware of our situation.

Following the usual exhaustive battery of physical and mental examinations, Dorothy was diagnosed on November 13, 2009 with Alzheimer's Disease. Dorothy, the three children, and I had known for some months that something was not quite right. In July 2009 Dorothy drove for the last time. She said that as she was driving that day she prayed and promised God is she were to get home safely, parked in the driveway, and out of the car she would never drive again. Shortly thereafter we started the testing. Fortunately, a member of Hyde Park United Methodist where I am still on staff is a top neurologist in the field and she is our physician.In the eight areas tested, Dorothy was diagnosed as "mildly" impaired in 3 and in 5 "mild to moderate".

Dorothy has been slowly placed on the 3-med "cocktail", Lexapro, Namenda, and Aricept, and two weeks ago the doctor said it appears it is working because Dorothy "aced" all her tests that day.
The two most significant areas of impairment are short term memory and visual-spatial orientation (hence the driving problem).

Since Dorothy now doesn't care much for the issues related to air travel the kids and grandkids have started visiting us instead of our making our twice annual trips to PA and NM.

Dorothy's awareness of her illness is both curse and blessing. It's curse because she knows her situation and hates it. It is blessing because we can talk about it and deal with it in mostly productive ways (I'm learning).Our daughter, Debra, has her Ph.D. in gerontology and lives in Tampa. She is a great help to us.

Appreciate your prayers as we walk this life-journery together.

If you'd like to e-mail Dorothy she daily checks in:
Dorothy

You can reach me at:

Bernie

With thank for your friendship over the years.

Bernie


Here is my email to Bernie followed by his kind and courageous reply back:

Bernie,
I am so very sorry for this challenge that has come into Dorothy’s and your lives—I weep for you. Yet, at the same time I have full faith that the Lord will walk with you both and your family in a very special way and you will feel His nearness.
You and Dorothy hold a special place in Melba and my heart because of the friendship and mentoring you gave to us as we were in the beginnings of our chaplaincy journey. We have thanked God so many times for good Christian disciples like you two who have blessed the lives of so many of God’s children.
If there is anything that we can do for you, please don’t hesitate to ask. Of course, it goes without saying that you and Dorothy just moved to the top of our prayer list.

Hugs and love,

Larry


Lawrence M. Barry
CH (COL), US Army (Ret)
Tumwater, WA
360-705-0573 (home)
360-870-4963 (cell)


Larry,
God bless you and thanks for the note. Dorothy and I talk about the two of you probably more than any other young chaplain couple we served with during those all too brief days at Hood. By the way, the last Sunday in December we attended Fred Shelke's retirement from the Lutheran Church he served about an hour from here.
Yes, we experience God's presence every day and celebrate God's love for us.
Grace and peace,
Bernie

God bless Bernie and Dorothy Lieving.