Odds and Ends

Here's what's new this week:
--Had a nice talk with son Mike--congrats on the new home--pictures were great! Really glad you and the kids are moving out of gangland.

--Missed going to to the temple today but needed time to put finishing touches on on my presentation tonight at relief society: Spiritual Foundations of a Joyous Marriage; just wrapped it up and am going to relax until it's time to go

--Arborist came yesterday, gave us an estimate on pruning our 11 evergreens and our numerous decorative trees; also going to grind down three stumps and pull out two large bushes; Melba wants to plant two or three burning bushes or whatever they're called--bright red leaves in the fall--very popular around here (see image)

--Lawn mower guy dropped by to pick up my mower for spring tune-up; the lawn is already starting to grow and the crocuses and tulips have already stuck their little heads up out of the ground and are trying to decide whether to bud or not

A small speed bump in Melba's health care

Melba and I met with a doctor today as part of her pre-surgery visits. Everything was good except her hemoglobin was too low so the doc can't recommend surgery yet. So she'll have to meet with her GI doc, find out what the problem is, fix it, and hope we can get her labs up in time for her scheduled surgery on 2 Mar. Semper Gumby--always flexible!

Reflections on marriage_Part 2_the lighter side

Thought I'd share a couple of marriage jokes I have used over the years to humorously highlight husband and wife gender differences:

1. One night a wife found her husband standing over their baby’s crib. Silently she watched him. As he stood looking down at the sleeping infant, she saw on his face a mixture of emotions: disbelief, doubt, delight, amazement, enchantment, skepticism. Touched by this unusual display and the deep emotions it aroused, with eyes glistening she slipped her arm around her husband and softly said, “A penny for your thoughts.” “It’s amazing!” he replied. “I just can’t see how anyone…can make a crib like that for only $146.00!!”

2. A policeman spots a woman driving and knitting at the same time. Driving up beside her, he shouts out the window at her: “Pull over.” “No”, she shouts back, “a sweater!”

There you have it--viva la difference!

Reflections on marriage

Next Wednesday I'm giving a presentation to our ward Relief Society on the "spiritual foundations of a joyful marriage". I'm currently in the "review of literature" phase and thought I'd share some snippets that struck me as interesting or insightful.

--"I am satisfied that a happy marriage is not so much a matter of romance as it is an anxious concern for the comfort and well-being of one's companion." (Gordon B. Hinckley)
--"Many couples permit their marriages to become stale and their love to grow cold like old bread or worn-out jokes or cold gravy. Certainly the foods most vital for love are consideration, kindness, thoughtfulness, concern, expressions of affection, embraces of appreciation, admiration, pride, companionship, confidence, faith, partnership, equality, and interdependence." (Spencer W. Kimball)
--A lack of time in a marriage is a greater problem than a lack of money
--"Our love for [our] spouse...is reflected most powerfully in our thoughts, our words, and our deeds." (David A. Bednar)
--"When you are forgiving you can drop the burden of resentment and anger. It is a better way to experience each day." (Larry Jensen)
--Problems occur in marriage when we violate gospel principles. Redemptive healing and peace comes through obedience to gospel principles.
--"God designed marriage to make us both happy and holy". (Carol Heffernan)

Facing the reality of mortality

Yesterday I wrote about my friend, Gary, who recently passed away at age 66--my age. Last night I learned that a close friend of my mother, Bessie Lambert, age 96 +/-, is in a Bellingham hospital days away from completing her life's journey. These and other recent events have given me pause to consider things of a weightier nature:
--I want to be more diligent in my daily physical exercising so I can stick around as long as I can
--I want to be slower to anger, quicker to love
--I want to spread peace not contention
--I want to learn more about the great gift of repentance and do it more and better
--I want to get better at quick forgiveness when I get my feelings hurt
--I want to let others know that I love and appreciate them--especially Melba, my children, grandchildren, mother, siblings and friends
--I want to take offense less and give others the benefit of the doubt more
--I want to strive daily to live up to the children's song "I'm trying to be like Jesus"
--I want to remind myself every day what the purpose of life is: "...there [is] a space granted unto man in which he might repent; therefore this life became a probationary state; a time to prepare to meet God..." (Alma 12:24)

Remembering Gary

I received sad news yesterday. My boyhood chum, Gary Froseth, passed away two weeks ago. His wife, Paulette, sent me a letter telling me that while they were in Nicaragua Gary suffered a massive heart attack and then a cerebral hemorrhage. He died instantly. The memorial service was last Sunday. Gary was an important part of my growing up, especially during our pre-teen years. I remember:
--laughing so hard we rolled on the ground, out of control, gasping for breath
--hanging out after school
--Gary coming with me to Mutual, needing the fellowship
--my hoping he'd be interested in joining the Church but he never was
--Gary attending my first marriage with his first wife neither of us knowing that both marriages would eventually unravel
--hooking up many years later when Melba and I lived in Virginia the first time, stopping in to see him and Paulette at their home in Harrisburg, PA and picking up where we had left off, hardly missing a beat
--over the years occasionally emailing each other with updates and subtle reminders that we were still friends and cared about each other

Thank you, Gary, for being my friend when I needed you most. My wish for you now is that you'll run into some great missionaries in the spirit world and accept the gospel. We'll have so much more to talk and laugh about when I get there.

For Melba

A little over a year ago I wrote the lyrics and music of a song dedicated to my eternal sweetheart. I thought I would share the lyrics with you.

YOU WERE THERE

For Melba

1) Years ago in memories past,

Time stood still, our youth would last forever.

You were there.

Holding hands in tender romance,

‘cross the room a stolen glance of love.

You were there.

Dreams were big, hope was bright;

You and I were right ‘cause you were there,

You were there.

2) Life was hard, life was good;

Trusting God our dreams would last forever;

He was there.

Heaven blessed us from on high,

Showed us that we could rely on His love;

He was there.

Through the fire, through the flame,

Hearts were touched through faith upon His name;

He was there.

3) Now we’re old, our hair is gray;

My love for you is here to stay forever.

I’ll be there.

Up the hill, down rocky road,

I’ll lift you up, I’ll take your load, I love you.

I’ll be there.

Friends we were and friends forever,

In your need I’ll come and I’ll be there.

Yes, I’ll be there. I will be there.

Words and music by Lawrence M. Barry, October 2008