HEALTH UPDATE

In the fall of 2017 I spent 5 weeks in Madigan Army Medical Center hospital diagnosed with multiple myeloma, a non-curable but treatable blood cancer. Following intense chemotherapy I spent the Christmas holidays recuperating at home.

In the spring of 2018 I spent 10 weeks at the Seattle VA hospital where I received a stem cell transplant a difficult and at times brutal procedure but well worth it. I am happy to report that I continue in remission. I was especially blessed by Melba and other family members volunteering to be my caregiver for a week or two so I could stay in the Marriott instead of remaining in the hospital for the duration.

In 2023 I underwent a cardio ablation to stabilize my heart rate which was severely accelerated. The procedure was successful and my heart continues to beat at normal levels, unless, of course, my sweet wife, Melba, gives me a kiss, then my pulse rate soars!

Finally, my treatment for glaucoma is successfully keeping my eye pressure under control.

As always, I am eternally grateful for the prayers and support given me by my family and my friends—you are all dear to me!

 

The Joy of Mantras

A mantra is a word, sound, or phrase that is repeated during meditation or during times of stress to focus the mind and quiet the chatter of thoughts. Mantras can be derived from spiritual traditions or simple phrases that resonate with the individual. They can be used to promote mindfulness, calm anxiety, and cultivate positive thinking.   Here are a few examples of mantras:

·       “My mind is brilliant. My body is healthy. My spirit is tranquil.”

·       “I create my own path and walk it with joy.”

·       “I am conquering my fears and becoming stronger each day.”

·       “My body is a temple. I keep my temple clean.”

·       “My commitment to myself is unbreakable.”

I have found mantras to be very helpful in keeping me anchored to what is really important in life.  Here are three that I use frequently:

Ø At times, uncomfortable and unwanted memories will surface, reminding me of past mistakes, decisions that hurt others, and even sins.  This mantra is helpful in keeping me in the present and reminding me of my Christian discipleship:

 

“That was me then—that is not me now.”

 

Ø Everyone has problems in life that can be small or huge—I am no exception.  This mantra helps me stay focused on solutions, not the problem:

 

“Every problem has a solution.”

 

Ø It is human nature to think that everything is about yourself.  This self-absorption prevents us from living according to the two great commandments given us by Jesus:  Love God—Love your neighbor.  This mantra reminds me of where my primary focus should be:

“Look up—Look out.”

GETTING USED TO THE NEW NORMAL 

As I approach my 82nd birthday, I've been reflecting on what this life phase means to me.  Many times I have bounced back and forth between "speed bumps" and calm waters and found myself waiting for things to settle down and get back to normal.  The other day, however, it struck me that this is normal--the "new normal".  Friends and family get sick and die, my wife and my health, energy and sense of well-being fluctuates almost daily, friends at the senior living community where we live respond to their myriad challenges in different ways: anger--kindness--sadness--weeping--involvement in the activities provided here--isolation--quiet contemplation.  The result of all this "new normalization" has actually been a blessing.  When things get a little crazy or I'm feeling depressed because of my challenges, it helps to remind myself that since this is really the "new normal" no amount of wishing/longing/hoping will change that and as strange as it seems, at least to me, that settles me down and speaks peace to my mind and heart.  I count this as one of God's many blessings He has given me over the years and I am so grateful to Him for it.

ONE DISCIPLE’S JOURNEY

Or

A WRENCHING, STRETCHING JOY

By

Lawrence M. Barry

            I believe in the power of storytelling to capture the ideas, principles, values, and beliefs of an individual, a family, a community, or a nation.  What follows are some highlights of my spiritual journey.

Upbringing and Early Experiences

            My family was affiliated with The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, also called the Mormon Church or the LDS Church.  In this autobiographical summary I will most often refer to it as “the Church.”

            My mother was raised in an LDS family that was minimally involved in the community of faith.  My father was raised a nominal Catholic but was never a practicing member of the Roman church.  When I was eight or nine Dad converted to the Mormon religion thus ensuring that all my siblings and I were raised as active members of the Church.  As of this writing my two brothers are no longer affiliated with the LDS religion while my two sisters and I actively associate with our respective Mormon congregations.  I am the oldest of the five children.

            I was baptized at age eight according to the Mormon belief that infants need not be baptized only those who have reached “the age of accountability” which my church places at age eight.

            Throughout my life I attended and participated in various church meetings and activities such as worship services, Sunday school, Primary (for ages 4 – 11) and Young Men programs for youth 12-17.  At age 20 I left home to serve for two years as an LDS missionary in Argentina.

A Rooted Yet Evolving Belief

            As far back as I can remember there has been something deep within me that whispered of things spiritual, enticing me toward God and His Son, Jesus Christ.  Somehow, I knew that they were real and that my life would be best lived by following the teachings and example of Christ.

            In my younger years this “testimony” or “witness” was undeveloped and dependent, at least in part, on my parents’ own belief system.  I knew that eventually I had to make up my own mind about these things and grow my own testimony.

            This might be a good place to mention that part of an active LDS member’s testimony is the belief that not only do Christ and the Father exist but that Christ’s Church has been restored to the earth in these “latter days”, hence the last part of the official name of the Church i.e. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. 

            My walk as a Christian disciple hit its first (and only) “speed bump” when I was working on my undergraduate degree in sociology at Fresno State College.  As so many young college students I became enamored of the secular theories and teachings found in so many college classrooms.  One semester was particularly challenging as I tried to measure my church and its teachings against the philosophies of the sociological world and began to find my faith wavering.

            For about three months an internal struggle waged inside of me.  I prayed and studied and pondered both sides of this conflict.  Finally, it dawned on me that I could not measure the things of God by the yardstick of secularism.  Instead, I realized that it is the gospel of Christ that must supply the standard against which to measure all other things.  Once I reached that conclusion my crisis of faith was resolved, never to return again.

            One point of clarification: this is not to say that I am anti-science or anti-secular education for I am not.  On the contrary—I love science and the humanities.  For years I was a marriage and family therapist and saw great good come from the application of the principles and theories developed in the fields of psychology and family sciences. 

            However, none of that compares with my experiences in watching people grow spiritually—as they come to know that God loves them and that they are special to Him.  That awareness does more to heal marriages and improve lives than any therapies can provide.

The U.S. Army Chaplaincy

            In 1981 I felt the Holy Spirit leading me to change direction in my professional life.  Up until that time I had worked as an adjunct teacher at the local colleges and university while maintaining a private practice in marriage and family therapy.

            Back in 1966, during the Vietnam War, I had been drafted into the Army where I was fortunate to serve two years as a chaplain’s assistant.  I began to feel the promptings of the Spirit moving me toward serving again in the armed services, this time as a chaplain.

            In 1982 I received an endorsement from my church to serve as a military chaplain.  Shortly thereafter I was commissioned a Captain in the U.S. Army and began what was to become the perfect career/vocation for me. During the course of the next 23 years we moved extensively and my career prospered finalizing with my retirement in 2005 at the rank of Colonel.

            During my tenure as a chaplain my personal spiritual journey took on new dimensions as I associated with and ministered to men and women of many faiths and of no faith.  I learned to love and respect the rich traditions of different churches.  More importantly I saw how the Lord works His wonders through many diverse avenues and people.

            My connection with my own Church and its teachings deepened as I studied my own religious tenets as well as those of other churches.  As I grew spiritually my sense of awe in the Divine magnified and I noticed that my perspective on people and things around me was imperceptibly being altered.  I judged less and appreciated more.  I was less inclined to anger and more touched by the imperfect humanity we all are.  I still struggle with my own frailties but no longer out of fear of God’s judgment but rather out of a growing love I have for Christ and His atoning sacrifice.  Interestingly, the more I come to love Christ the more love I seem to have for my wife, my children, my extended family and people in general.

The Road Ahead

            Now in my 73^rd year I am more at peace spiritually than ever before.  While this phase of our lives has brought many different challenges, primarily health related, I am confident that God is with us and that He will shepherd us through the remaining time we have left in mortality.

            Not content with “coasting” in our retirement we remain as active and involved as circumstances permit.  I serve on the JBLM (Joint Base Lewis McChord) Retiree Council.  My wife and I recently concluded a year serving as part-time Military Relations Representatives for our Church.  In that capacity we taught emotional and spiritual resiliency classes to LDS military families who were facing the deployment of a family member.  We also do a fair amount of genealogy research.         

            In summary, then, my journey as a disciple of Christ has been what I call a “wrenching, stretching joy” and I suspect it will continue to be throughout my life…and beyond!

            

Today is Palm Sunday when the Christian world remembers Christ's triumphal entry into Jerusalem one week before His crucifixion.  As I have in years past I am reposting a poem I wrote a long time ago that still reminds me of whose I am.

CHRIST’S TRIUMPHAL ENTRY

By

Lawrence M. Barry

That ancient day, so long ago

Our Lord rode mounted, grand and slow,

Into the town Jerusalem,

Into the throngs of waiting men.

The crowd rejoiced and gave Him alms

Of fresh cut leaves from desert palms,

Placed worshipfully along His way;

Their love reached out to Him that day.

“Hosanna to the Lord” they cried;

“Bless each of you” the Lord replied.

With one accord they welcomed Him

Into the town Jerusalem.

Centuries past, our day is here,

But still He lives to bring us cheer.

He stands prepared to do His part—

Triumphal entry into our heart.

Loving us with love supreme

He offers a celestial dream

Of peace and love within our home

And joy with Him when life is done.

He waits outside each person’s door

No matter if we’re rich or poor.

He knocks and calls as a gentle dove:

“Is there room in your home for the Master’s love?”

He wants to bless, His love He offers;

We need His help, His hand He proffers.

He knows us well and what we need;

He’s come to serve, to love, to feed.

While Christians wait for His return,

Christ waits for us to learn

That in a home that welcomes Him,

He will gladly enter in.

Let each of us, right here and now,

Within our hearts renew our vow

To love the Lord and serve Him well

That in our homes He’ll come to dwell.

Major project under way: scanning folders full of family history documents, photos, and narratives on to my computer.  Much of the material was informally bequeathed to me by my late Uncle Chad.  I've brought additional items back from my mother's house after my last two visits there.  Final goal is to put all the material onto CDs/DVDs and give copies to family i.e. sibs and kids.  It is super exciting and very interesting to find something like the passenger list for the SS Wyoming that came from London to New York in 1884 with my fore-bearers on it as immigrants from England.  Seeing the documents, reading the censuses, and looking at the photos puts life into these people and helps me connect with them in ways that are difficult to explain.  They. Are. Family!

Palm Sunday

In three weeks most of the Christian world will celebrate Palm Sunday commemorating Christ's entry into Jerusalem shortly before his crucifixion.  Last year I posted a poem I wrote titled "Christ's Triumphal Entry" and thought I'd post again this year.

 CHRIST’S TRIUMPHAL ENTRY

By

Lawrence M. Barry

That ancient day, so long ago

Our Lord rode mounted, grand and slow,

Into the town Jerusalem,

Into the throngs of waiting men.

The crowd rejoiced and gave Him alms

Of fresh cut leaves from desert palms,

Placed worshipfully along His way;

Their love reached out to Him that day.

“Hosanna to the Lord” they cried;

“Bless each of you” the Lord replied.

With one accord they welcomed Him

Into the town Jerusalem.

Centuries past, our day is here,

But still He lives to bring us cheer.

He stands prepared to do His part—

Triumphal entry into our heart.

Loving us with love supreme

He offers a celestial dream

Of peace and love within our home

And joy with Him when life is done.

He waits outside each person’s door

No matter if we’re rich or poor.

He knocks and calls as a gentle dove:

“Is there room in your home for the Master’s love?”

He wants to bless, His love He offers;

We need His help, His hand He proffers.

He knows us well and what we need;

He’s come to serve, to love, to feed.

While Christians wait for His return,

Christ waits for us to learn

That in a home that welcomes Him,

He will gladly enter in.

Let each of us, right here and now,

Within our hearts renew our vow

To love the Lord and serve Him well

That in our homes He’ll come to dwell.

LESSONS FROM A PURPLE POPSICLE

To my six year old mind, it was a catastrophe of the highest order.  Later in life I came to see it as the beginning of wisdom. Let me explain. 

            Every school day my mother would give me 10 whole cents—a lot of money to any young boy back in 1949—to buy an ice cream bar during recess.  Sometimes it was vanilla covered with chocolate and nuts; other times it would be a 50-50 bar—part vanilla, part orange.  Either way, it was the highlight of my first grade academic day!

            One day the unexpected happened: they were out of ice cream bars.  Instead, they offered popsicles, a treat unfamiliar to me.  Undaunted, I selected a purple one—grape flavored and very tasty!

            Before I could finish, the recess bell rang.  Not wanting to waste this delicious treat, I returned to the classroom, lifted my desktop, and placed the partially eaten Popsicle inside;  I would finish it the next day.

            At day’s end, my mother asked her usual questions:

“How was school?” 

“Good.” 

“Did you buy an ice cream?” 

“No.” 

“Why not?” 

“They were out of them. They had popsicles instead; I had a grape one.” 

“Was it good?” 

“Yes, but I didn’t finish it.  I put it in my desk—I’ll eat the rest tomorrow.”

            And then my world came apart.  With a look of concern and words I’ll never forget, my mother said, “Larry, popsicles melt.” 

Oh.

OH, NO!  The enormity of what I had done came in a blinding flash of understanding.  Stunned, I stammered the first thing that came to mind: “I’m not going to school tomorrow!”

            Firmly and gently mother said, yes, I would go to school but she would go with me.   The next morning, with fear and trembling, mother at my side, I approached my desk. Lifting the desk top I saw the wooden Popsicle stick lying in a small purple puddle on top of my spelling book. 

            Mother helped clean up and after a few days this misadventure slipped into history.  Through the years and experiences that followed—high school, mission, college, marriage and career—I would often think of that purple popsicle and remind myself that things aren’t always what they seem. 

            With maturity gained from hindsight and frequent toe-stubbing, I have learned the importance of discerning “things as they really are, and…as they really will be.” (Jacob 4:13, The Book of Mormon) In some strange, wonderful way the lesson of the purple Popsicle has found meaning in every stage of my life.

            During my teens I learned that the most popular kids in school weren’t always helpful in maintaining the standards of behavior I had been taught at home and at church.

            As a missionary I learned that poor people, with little of the world’s riches, were often the most humble and receptive to the Spirit of the Lord.

            In college, I became aware that as attractive as many of the theories and philosophies of the world are, they cannot provide a true and perfect standard against which to measure life’s experiences nor give us a sure foundation upon which to make eternal decisions.  Only the gospel of Jesus Christ can do that.

            Similarly, while serving as an army chaplain, I was repeatedly reminded that the wicked ways of the world never bring happiness.  Countless times I saw lives and relationships damaged or destroyed as individuals chose worldly pleasures over those things that are “virtuous, lovely or of good report or praiseworthy.”  (13^th Article of Faith)

            As a husband, a father, and a grandfather my “Popsicle lessons” continue to bless me.  I have learned that the “law of the harvest” is a true and eternal principle and that “whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap” (Gal. 6:7 KJV)—that it is giving and loving that guarantees us a sure bounty of peace and joy, not taking or using or abusing.

            I am grateful for the early lessons of the purple Popsicle which taught me while yet a youth that things aren’t always what they seem.

A Personal Mission Statement

Several years ago, while studying and teaching Stephen Covey's "7 Habits of Highly Effective People" I wrote a personal mission statement that reflected how I wanted to live my life.  I reviewed it this morning, found it still very relevant and current so thought I'd share it with you. 

MISSION STATEMENT

FOR

LAWRENCE M. BARRY

1.       I will live my life centered in Jesus Christ, rooted in His gospel, one hand grasping His, the other extended out to those in need.

2.       I will honor others, relating to the best in them from the best in me.

3.       I will be a safe harbor for those whose life's journey has become stormy.

4.       I will be fully supportive of Melba in her growth and the pace and direction in which she takes it.

5.       I will seek to love and respect all of me--physical, mental, emotional and spiritual--and will regularly self-renew in all four areas.

6.       I will pursue excellence in all areas of my life and to live my life as an offering to God.

7.       I will look for the good, the beautiful, the wonderful in my world, in all people, all cultures and in nature.

8.       I will work to bind up my family with temple covenants--past, present, and future--so there will be "no empty chairs".

9.       I will seek to develop a nurturing environment in every relationship, where lower impulses are subordinated to higher principles and where both of us can feel safe so that learning and growth can occur.

10.     I will seek to develop tenacity in service, genuineness in love, perspective in failure, and humility in success.

Christmas decorations

We finally finished decorating our house for the holidays.  Here are a few snapshots of our festive decor.

 Our more formal tree in the living room.

 Town folks in the square...looks like the mail box fell over...oops.

 Santa's all ready for take off!

 Some carolers bringing joy to the Dickens Village neighborhood.

 The old lamplighter lighting up the shops.

 Our family Christmas tree with all the old familiar ornaments that have been with us for years.

 Couple of guys just hanging around.

 The Victoria train station is very busy this time of year.

 Our official greeters with Shakespeare's Globe Theater in the background.

 And the "reason for the season"...Joy to the world!

The new fireplace

Today our new fireplace was installed and we love it!  It's a little bigger with darker wood for the mantel and a deep mantel top which holds Christmas decorations, photos, etc. much better.  Here are some pics:

 This is what our fireplace has looked like for the past 11 years.

 Dustin and David begin the dismantling.

 Mantel is gone...what's next?

 The tile, what else!

 Mantel and tile gone; next step the fireplace insert.

 The toughest part of the job but these guys did well.

 Underneath the tile and wood and plaster, a house really isn't very glamorous!

 Installing the new insert.

 Tired but happy installers--thanks guys for a job well done!

 Now Santa can come down our new fireplace!

What is your legacy?

Some of you may remember the actress and movie star Elizabeth Taylor.  In my day she was the hottest thing in Hollywood—glamorous, mysterious, and very rich.  She married eight times, twice to Richard Burton, an equally popular British actor. 

Elizabeth Taylor died in March of this year at age 79.  Today I saw in the news that Christie’s, the high end auction house, is putting up for bid a number of Ms. Taylor’s gowns, diamonds, and other collectibles that are sure to fetch the sellers millions of dollars.

As I thought about this it occurred to me: things last longer than their owners.  The scarf mom used to wear; dad’s old saw; grandpa’s guitar; grandma’s favorite hot cocoa mug.  The owners are gone but their treasures and trinkets remain, of no real value other than their link to the ones we loved—and still love.

I think the moral here, at least for me, is this:  spend more time on that which has enduring value—my dear wife and eternal companion; my children, their spouses and their ever expanding brood of our grandchildren; my mother; my siblings and their families; my aunt. 

There is a joke that carries a profound message.  A rich man died.  At his funeral one fellow whispered to his friend, “How much did he leave?”  The friend responded, “All of it.”

Some day when my mortal journey is finished, I won’t have much of material things to leave although we have arranged our affairs so Melba will be able to live comfortably.  But more important to me is another legacy—a legacy of faith in God, love of family, and dedication to our country—that I hope I have been able to pass on to my children and they in turn to their families.

Each of us is only about three generations away from being an unknown name on our descendants’ family tree.  However, we can be more than that if we leave the right legacy.  Let’s fill our journals, our home movies, our picture albums, our life histories, our blogs with thoughts, reflections and images of the things we value most—the things of real value: God—family—country.

Dad's voice

My dad died on Thanksgiving Day, 1991 after a long struggle with ALS (Lou Gehrig's disease) which left him speechless the last year or two before passing away.  So it's been over 20 years since I've heard my father's voice and I had forgotten what he sounded like.  I know that might seem strange but it's actually pretty typical.  I have a friend whose wife died a few years back.  For the first two years he didn't change her message on the answering machine because, as he put it, "I didn't want to forget what she sounded like."

 Well, all that's changed.  A few weeks back I found 6 small reel-to-reel tapes in the back of my closet.  They were audio letters my folks and I exchanged during my mission to Argentina (1963-1965) and my first stint with the Army (1966-1968) when I was assigned to South Korea.  I paid a professional to clean up and transfer the tapes to CDs and what a fun surprise.  On the tapes were, among other things:

--Christmas tapes with my mom and dad, sisters Doreen and Diane, and brother Kevin--all very young--opening presents and sharing with me what they had received from Santa. 

--Me playing the guitar and piano (I still play some of the same songs--how's that for being stuck in a rut for over 40 years!)

--One tape of just my dad bringing me up to date on family events.  This one meant the most to me because after all these years I could hear my dad's voice again.  Even as I write this my eyes are tearing up...with love...with gratitude...with memories.  Thanks, Dad, for making that tape and for all you did for me and our family.  I love you.

My dad, William "Bill" Barry, Jr., age 20ish.

Post script:  Maybe all of us parents should think about leaving a video and audio record of ourselves for our children and grandchildren--I know I will be working on this.

Our Alaskan Cruise

Here are some of the highlights of last week's cruise to Alaska with our friends Harry and Dolly Patterson and Karen and Ned Therien.

We departed Seattle on Holland America's Oosterdam on Sunday 17 July 2011.

 Melba with Harry and Dolly on our adjoining verandah.

 Harry with Karen and Ned Therien

The intrepid cruisers!

 The formal dining room.

 Excellently prepared gourmet quality cuisine!

Several times we ate breakfast in our stateroom with an ocean vista.

 We enjoyed our tour of the galley.

 Each evening our steward prepared our room for the night and left a "towel animal" on the bed.  The swan was the first one.

 The elephant.

Loved the monkey best!

Our first two days were on the sea but often within view of the Canadian coastline.

 Breathtaking!

The handiwork of Heaven!

 Heading into Glacier Bay.

 Magnificent glaciers!

What a sight!

 Juneau--capitol of Alaska yet only accessible by plane or boat.

 Visited a commercial garden--this is called a Skunk Cabbage.

Mendenhall glacier.

 Harry and Dolly Patterson at the Red Dog Saloon.

 Interesting decor at the Red Dog Saloon...bear chasing man!

The Barrys, Theriens, and Pattersons.

We rode the tramway up Mt. Roberts.

 Quite a ride on the tram.

You can see what a good time Melba was having on the tram!  :-)

How would you like a house on your own itsy bitsy island?

At Sitka the Russian influence was obvious.

 Another house on a mini-island.

Energetic group of women who perform traditional Russian folk dancing.

 Ketchican, Alaska.

Ketchican.

 Interesting auto decor in Ketchican!

 Staff and crew bid us a final farewell in style!