ONE DISCIPLE’S JOURNEY

Or

A WRENCHING, STRETCHING JOY

By

Lawrence M. Barry

            I believe in the power of storytelling to capture the ideas, principles, values, and beliefs of an individual, a family, a community, or a nation.  What follows are some highlights of my spiritual journey.

Upbringing and Early Experiences

            My family was affiliated with The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, also called the Mormon Church or the LDS Church.  In this autobiographical summary I will most often refer to it as “the Church.”

            My mother was raised in an LDS family that was minimally involved in the community of faith.  My father was raised a nominal Catholic but was never a practicing member of the Roman church.  When I was eight or nine Dad converted to the Mormon religion thus ensuring that all my siblings and I were raised as active members of the Church.  As of this writing my two brothers are no longer affiliated with the LDS religion while my two sisters and I actively associate with our respective Mormon congregations.  I am the oldest of the five children.

            I was baptized at age eight according to the Mormon belief that infants need not be baptized only those who have reached “the age of accountability” which my church places at age eight.

            Throughout my life I attended and participated in various church meetings and activities such as worship services, Sunday school, Primary (for ages 4 – 11) and Young Men programs for youth 12-17.  At age 20 I left home to serve for two years as an LDS missionary in Argentina.

A Rooted Yet Evolving Belief

            As far back as I can remember there has been something deep within me that whispered of things spiritual, enticing me toward God and His Son, Jesus Christ.  Somehow, I knew that they were real and that my life would be best lived by following the teachings and example of Christ.

            In my younger years this “testimony” or “witness” was undeveloped and dependent, at least in part, on my parents’ own belief system.  I knew that eventually I had to make up my own mind about these things and grow my own testimony.

            This might be a good place to mention that part of an active LDS member’s testimony is the belief that not only do Christ and the Father exist but that Christ’s Church has been restored to the earth in these “latter days”, hence the last part of the official name of the Church i.e. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. 

            My walk as a Christian disciple hit its first (and only) “speed bump” when I was working on my undergraduate degree in sociology at Fresno State College.  As so many young college students I became enamored of the secular theories and teachings found in so many college classrooms.  One semester was particularly challenging as I tried to measure my church and its teachings against the philosophies of the sociological world and began to find my faith wavering.

            For about three months an internal struggle waged inside of me.  I prayed and studied and pondered both sides of this conflict.  Finally, it dawned on me that I could not measure the things of God by the yardstick of secularism.  Instead, I realized that it is the gospel of Christ that must supply the standard against which to measure all other things.  Once I reached that conclusion my crisis of faith was resolved, never to return again.

            One point of clarification: this is not to say that I am anti-science or anti-secular education for I am not.  On the contrary—I love science and the humanities.  For years I was a marriage and family therapist and saw great good come from the application of the principles and theories developed in the fields of psychology and family sciences. 

            However, none of that compares with my experiences in watching people grow spiritually—as they come to know that God loves them and that they are special to Him.  That awareness does more to heal marriages and improve lives than any therapies can provide.

The U.S. Army Chaplaincy

            In 1981 I felt the Holy Spirit leading me to change direction in my professional life.  Up until that time I had worked as an adjunct teacher at the local colleges and university while maintaining a private practice in marriage and family therapy.

            Back in 1966, during the Vietnam War, I had been drafted into the Army where I was fortunate to serve two years as a chaplain’s assistant.  I began to feel the promptings of the Spirit moving me toward serving again in the armed services, this time as a chaplain.

            In 1982 I received an endorsement from my church to serve as a military chaplain.  Shortly thereafter I was commissioned a Captain in the U.S. Army and began what was to become the perfect career/vocation for me. During the course of the next 23 years we moved extensively and my career prospered finalizing with my retirement in 2005 at the rank of Colonel.

            During my tenure as a chaplain my personal spiritual journey took on new dimensions as I associated with and ministered to men and women of many faiths and of no faith.  I learned to love and respect the rich traditions of different churches.  More importantly I saw how the Lord works His wonders through many diverse avenues and people.

            My connection with my own Church and its teachings deepened as I studied my own religious tenets as well as those of other churches.  As I grew spiritually my sense of awe in the Divine magnified and I noticed that my perspective on people and things around me was imperceptibly being altered.  I judged less and appreciated more.  I was less inclined to anger and more touched by the imperfect humanity we all are.  I still struggle with my own frailties but no longer out of fear of God’s judgment but rather out of a growing love I have for Christ and His atoning sacrifice.  Interestingly, the more I come to love Christ the more love I seem to have for my wife, my children, my extended family and people in general.

The Road Ahead

            Now in my 73^rd year I am more at peace spiritually than ever before.  While this phase of our lives has brought many different challenges, primarily health related, I am confident that God is with us and that He will shepherd us through the remaining time we have left in mortality.

            Not content with “coasting” in our retirement we remain as active and involved as circumstances permit.  I serve on the JBLM (Joint Base Lewis McChord) Retiree Council.  My wife and I recently concluded a year serving as part-time Military Relations Representatives for our Church.  In that capacity we taught emotional and spiritual resiliency classes to LDS military families who were facing the deployment of a family member.  We also do a fair amount of genealogy research.         

            In summary, then, my journey as a disciple of Christ has been what I call a “wrenching, stretching joy” and I suspect it will continue to be throughout my life…and beyond!

            

Today is Palm Sunday when the Christian world remembers Christ's triumphal entry into Jerusalem one week before His crucifixion.  As I have in years past I am reposting a poem I wrote a long time ago that still reminds me of whose I am.

CHRIST’S TRIUMPHAL ENTRY

By

Lawrence M. Barry

That ancient day, so long ago

Our Lord rode mounted, grand and slow,

Into the town Jerusalem,

Into the throngs of waiting men.

The crowd rejoiced and gave Him alms

Of fresh cut leaves from desert palms,

Placed worshipfully along His way;

Their love reached out to Him that day.

“Hosanna to the Lord” they cried;

“Bless each of you” the Lord replied.

With one accord they welcomed Him

Into the town Jerusalem.

Centuries past, our day is here,

But still He lives to bring us cheer.

He stands prepared to do His part—

Triumphal entry into our heart.

Loving us with love supreme

He offers a celestial dream

Of peace and love within our home

And joy with Him when life is done.

He waits outside each person’s door

No matter if we’re rich or poor.

He knocks and calls as a gentle dove:

“Is there room in your home for the Master’s love?”

He wants to bless, His love He offers;

We need His help, His hand He proffers.

He knows us well and what we need;

He’s come to serve, to love, to feed.

While Christians wait for His return,

Christ waits for us to learn

That in a home that welcomes Him,

He will gladly enter in.

Let each of us, right here and now,

Within our hearts renew our vow

To love the Lord and serve Him well

That in our homes He’ll come to dwell.

Major project under way: scanning folders full of family history documents, photos, and narratives on to my computer.  Much of the material was informally bequeathed to me by my late Uncle Chad.  I've brought additional items back from my mother's house after my last two visits there.  Final goal is to put all the material onto CDs/DVDs and give copies to family i.e. sibs and kids.  It is super exciting and very interesting to find something like the passenger list for the SS Wyoming that came from London to New York in 1884 with my fore-bearers on it as immigrants from England.  Seeing the documents, reading the censuses, and looking at the photos puts life into these people and helps me connect with them in ways that are difficult to explain.  They. Are. Family!

Palm Sunday

In three weeks most of the Christian world will celebrate Palm Sunday commemorating Christ's entry into Jerusalem shortly before his crucifixion.  Last year I posted a poem I wrote titled "Christ's Triumphal Entry" and thought I'd post again this year.

 CHRIST’S TRIUMPHAL ENTRY

By

Lawrence M. Barry

That ancient day, so long ago

Our Lord rode mounted, grand and slow,

Into the town Jerusalem,

Into the throngs of waiting men.

The crowd rejoiced and gave Him alms

Of fresh cut leaves from desert palms,

Placed worshipfully along His way;

Their love reached out to Him that day.

“Hosanna to the Lord” they cried;

“Bless each of you” the Lord replied.

With one accord they welcomed Him

Into the town Jerusalem.

Centuries past, our day is here,

But still He lives to bring us cheer.

He stands prepared to do His part—

Triumphal entry into our heart.

Loving us with love supreme

He offers a celestial dream

Of peace and love within our home

And joy with Him when life is done.

He waits outside each person’s door

No matter if we’re rich or poor.

He knocks and calls as a gentle dove:

“Is there room in your home for the Master’s love?”

He wants to bless, His love He offers;

We need His help, His hand He proffers.

He knows us well and what we need;

He’s come to serve, to love, to feed.

While Christians wait for His return,

Christ waits for us to learn

That in a home that welcomes Him,

He will gladly enter in.

Let each of us, right here and now,

Within our hearts renew our vow

To love the Lord and serve Him well

That in our homes He’ll come to dwell.

LESSONS FROM A PURPLE POPSICLE

To my six year old mind, it was a catastrophe of the highest order.  Later in life I came to see it as the beginning of wisdom. Let me explain. 

            Every school day my mother would give me 10 whole cents—a lot of money to any young boy back in 1949—to buy an ice cream bar during recess.  Sometimes it was vanilla covered with chocolate and nuts; other times it would be a 50-50 bar—part vanilla, part orange.  Either way, it was the highlight of my first grade academic day!

            One day the unexpected happened: they were out of ice cream bars.  Instead, they offered popsicles, a treat unfamiliar to me.  Undaunted, I selected a purple one—grape flavored and very tasty!

            Before I could finish, the recess bell rang.  Not wanting to waste this delicious treat, I returned to the classroom, lifted my desktop, and placed the partially eaten Popsicle inside;  I would finish it the next day.

            At day’s end, my mother asked her usual questions:

“How was school?” 

“Good.” 

“Did you buy an ice cream?” 

“No.” 

“Why not?” 

“They were out of them. They had popsicles instead; I had a grape one.” 

“Was it good?” 

“Yes, but I didn’t finish it.  I put it in my desk—I’ll eat the rest tomorrow.”

            And then my world came apart.  With a look of concern and words I’ll never forget, my mother said, “Larry, popsicles melt.” 

Oh.

OH, NO!  The enormity of what I had done came in a blinding flash of understanding.  Stunned, I stammered the first thing that came to mind: “I’m not going to school tomorrow!”

            Firmly and gently mother said, yes, I would go to school but she would go with me.   The next morning, with fear and trembling, mother at my side, I approached my desk. Lifting the desk top I saw the wooden Popsicle stick lying in a small purple puddle on top of my spelling book. 

            Mother helped clean up and after a few days this misadventure slipped into history.  Through the years and experiences that followed—high school, mission, college, marriage and career—I would often think of that purple popsicle and remind myself that things aren’t always what they seem. 

            With maturity gained from hindsight and frequent toe-stubbing, I have learned the importance of discerning “things as they really are, and…as they really will be.” (Jacob 4:13, The Book of Mormon) In some strange, wonderful way the lesson of the purple Popsicle has found meaning in every stage of my life.

            During my teens I learned that the most popular kids in school weren’t always helpful in maintaining the standards of behavior I had been taught at home and at church.

            As a missionary I learned that poor people, with little of the world’s riches, were often the most humble and receptive to the Spirit of the Lord.

            In college, I became aware that as attractive as many of the theories and philosophies of the world are, they cannot provide a true and perfect standard against which to measure life’s experiences nor give us a sure foundation upon which to make eternal decisions.  Only the gospel of Jesus Christ can do that.

            Similarly, while serving as an army chaplain, I was repeatedly reminded that the wicked ways of the world never bring happiness.  Countless times I saw lives and relationships damaged or destroyed as individuals chose worldly pleasures over those things that are “virtuous, lovely or of good report or praiseworthy.”  (13^th Article of Faith)

            As a husband, a father, and a grandfather my “Popsicle lessons” continue to bless me.  I have learned that the “law of the harvest” is a true and eternal principle and that “whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap” (Gal. 6:7 KJV)—that it is giving and loving that guarantees us a sure bounty of peace and joy, not taking or using or abusing.

            I am grateful for the early lessons of the purple Popsicle which taught me while yet a youth that things aren’t always what they seem.

A Personal Mission Statement

Several years ago, while studying and teaching Stephen Covey's "7 Habits of Highly Effective People" I wrote a personal mission statement that reflected how I wanted to live my life.  I reviewed it this morning, found it still very relevant and current so thought I'd share it with you. 

MISSION STATEMENT

FOR

LAWRENCE M. BARRY

1.       I will live my life centered in Jesus Christ, rooted in His gospel, one hand grasping His, the other extended out to those in need.

2.       I will honor others, relating to the best in them from the best in me.

3.       I will be a safe harbor for those whose life's journey has become stormy.

4.       I will be fully supportive of Melba in her growth and the pace and direction in which she takes it.

5.       I will seek to love and respect all of me--physical, mental, emotional and spiritual--and will regularly self-renew in all four areas.

6.       I will pursue excellence in all areas of my life and to live my life as an offering to God.

7.       I will look for the good, the beautiful, the wonderful in my world, in all people, all cultures and in nature.

8.       I will work to bind up my family with temple covenants--past, present, and future--so there will be "no empty chairs".

9.       I will seek to develop a nurturing environment in every relationship, where lower impulses are subordinated to higher principles and where both of us can feel safe so that learning and growth can occur.

10.     I will seek to develop tenacity in service, genuineness in love, perspective in failure, and humility in success.